Doing well - no gambling!

Feel good today - have made it through to the end of Jan without going to the casinos. It feels good and my husband & I are very close at this time.  I realize that when I was gambling I suffered a lot of guilt (of course, that's  a no brainer), but that made it difficult for me to be in the moment with my husband or anything for that matter . . . Also, I neglected sooo many things at home... it was as if I didn't care about anything, which goes against who I am . .  I did what was necessary to keep my household going, but just enough to get by.  When I am away from it, I realize the impact but at the time I couldn't see it - - -it is hard to believe now that I was so blinded.  It just shows how this addiction can take over.  All I could ever think about was getting back in front of those machines - it was crazy!  I would get so excited driving over to the casino - - - I always had high expectations and of course we know what happened each time.  What a roller coaster I was on.  Just thought I would get my current thoughts down - journaling more has really helped me a lot this time.  On to another positive week! odaatHugs to all,Smokeygirl