Doing something for me
Yesterday after I came home from work I put on my workout clothes and got on the treadmill after months of it collecting dust. I am going to work out everyday. Build up my stamina and eventually add weights. I am setting goals for myself and I am going to achieve them starting with taking care of my body and my mind.
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Thats great news keep up the good work. Youe friend Darlene
I am so tired of feeling bad. I just had a great day, my DH called me and we played hookey which is nothing like him. We took off at noon went to the movies. It was great. Then on my FB page my ED saying she needs a housekeeper apparently joking around with her best friend counting down the days until they see each other. Just like we used to do. It caught me off guard and made me cry at what I am missing. I believe she does it on purpose to hurt me. So out of spite I posted to my step daughter saying I miss her and can\'t wait to see her . I just want to hurt her like she has hurt me. I am so angry right now I can\'t stand that little Bi#ch sorry she is my kid but not anymore she is a spoiled brat.
I am going through the worst emotions ever in my estrangement. I finally and fully understand that I am and will be estranged from my daughter. I will never see her in person again, hug her, or hear her voice. I am not going to see my GS grow up, start school, graduate. I will never hear him call me Grammy. I will never see any other grand children she may have. There is no coming back from this estrangement. It was done in such a horrible, cold and abrupt fashion. The things she did to me and my DH cannot be undone, the words that were said cannot be undone. I was in shock and disbelief the first 9-1/2 months. I don\'t think that I really thought about the outcome of this I was just trying to get by, day by day. At first we talked on Skype, and I got to see the baby. But not since January. I don\'t know what I expected to come out of that, maybe that it would blow over??? But now I don\'t hold that hope anymore. It kills me to face that fact but it\'s my only option now. The last straw for me was a text I sent replying to her text of thank you for a baby picture of her I found and sent to her. I told her that when I found that picture that I thought was lost and I hadn\'t seen in years was exactly as I had remembered in my mind, as if it was taken yesterday. I received no response. That was when I finally knew that it was over. Whatever I thought I had with her was a lie a facade. So that is where I am now. I am now thinking that there is no returning from Estrangement, the problem can\'t be solved with a hug and an I am sorry.
My only hope of a better life is for me and my DH now is to get out of Florida, we have no life here, it\'s too hot and too flat, too crowded to try to go out. Maybe if we get out of this state we can have a healthier life.
Yesterday was the breaking point for me I am so tired of family disregarding our feelings and thinking their time is more valuable. I am ready to take a stand and say no more. If your plans don\'t work for us I am no longer going to twist myself inside out for anybody..I want to leave this state move someplace quiet and live my life happily.
Maybe today is the day to move forward and just let go and look to the joys in my life. My best friend in the world my dear husband, my furbabies. Let go of the anger, let go of the sadness, the bitterness that is eating at my health and consuming my life. Just put down the sword and wish my ED the best pray for her and my GS.
MaryWhite----I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is very frustrating with these EC. I completely understand your devastation and all the feelings that go along with it. Maybe a change of scenery will be good for you and DH. Start over and make new friends, move on with life. The more I listen to people from all over the more I realize it is like this everywhere. Adult children are learning this behavior by the way society in general is----don\'t be dismayed it is everywhere in every state and city. I believe it is a sign of the times we live in. Be good to yourself and take good care of you ! hugs to you.
Thank you Blue. I agree with a change in scenery. My EC\'s don\'t live in Florida but I so want to move back to CA which is where I am from. I have a really good friend that lives there and I know it would be good for me to be closer to her. Thanks for your support and kind words.