Doesn't matter

Today was very wierd for me. I went from really hungover and worried about someone I care about to being very sad, and wanting to cut my problems away. Then I came up and sank further down an hour later. But now I'm thinking that it all doesnt matter, all the bull shit that brings me down. It anxiety, its me worrying about things to much, and honestly no one knows about it, if you looked at me in person I'd appear to be chill and not really caring about things. You'd probably think I was a little stoned. But inside my mind is flying, my blood is pumping, and my worries are many. I need to get this under control, and cutting isnt the way. I didnt cut tonight, but I came close to it, I came close to shutting my self up from everybody and bleeding everything away. Thats what scares me earlier, how quickly I went to that. But that was earlier, and now I am good, I'm going to stay that way for now.