Does it get easier
This journal includes pregnancy talk, so please, please feel free to skip. I understand with all of my heart.
so, my beta on Friday the 18th at 131! I am officially pregnant. I went this morning for my second beta and am feeling so nervous. It never really get easier.
of course - of COURSE - I am so thrilled and so thankful that at least one of my beautiful embryos took. but my loss has made it hard to enjoy being pregnant again - has anyone else been though this?
We have been very low key about it. only immediate family knows and a VERY few friends. No one really knew we did IVF again, so I wasn't pressured to share our results.
I want to enjooy every day but every day I wake up scared that I will experience bleeding, like i did last time (which turned out to be a miscarriage even though heartbeat was still strong intially). I guess I am just trying to be cautious and too scared to really get attached to this pregnancy yet.
I read a blog yesterday about pregnancy after miscarriage and it seems what I am feeling is normal. the women wrote to celebrate each milestone, one at a time, as they came. So I celebrated the positive beta. PLEASE GOD I will celebrate a good 2nd beta, then a good 3rd one, and then my first ultrasound and then passing the time that my miscarriage happened the first time around.
and then maybe, just maybe, I can let myself fall in love.
so, my beta on Friday the 18th at 131! I am officially pregnant. I went this morning for my second beta and am feeling so nervous. It never really get easier.
of course - of COURSE - I am so thrilled and so thankful that at least one of my beautiful embryos took. but my loss has made it hard to enjoy being pregnant again - has anyone else been though this?
We have been very low key about it. only immediate family knows and a VERY few friends. No one really knew we did IVF again, so I wasn't pressured to share our results.
I want to enjooy every day but every day I wake up scared that I will experience bleeding, like i did last time (which turned out to be a miscarriage even though heartbeat was still strong intially). I guess I am just trying to be cautious and too scared to really get attached to this pregnancy yet.
I read a blog yesterday about pregnancy after miscarriage and it seems what I am feeling is normal. the women wrote to celebrate each milestone, one at a time, as they came. So I celebrated the positive beta. PLEASE GOD I will celebrate a good 2nd beta, then a good 3rd one, and then my first ultrasound and then passing the time that my miscarriage happened the first time around.
and then maybe, just maybe, I can let myself fall in love.
Replies
Yay! Congrats - that is amazing!
That is absolutely amazing sweetie!!! I am SOOOOOOOO happy for you! :) Wonderful number! :) Crossing everything I have for ya. If I could would be doing a cartwheel for you, though my big ole bum would probably protest :)