does anyone lose their marbles at times?
I seem to have realized that indeed I can trust my own process (mental process I mean.)
I went for gelato earlier and then came home. It was my jaunt for the day outside of grocery shopping.
I wrote some good things earlier and then, after sitting in front of the tv (parked on PBS), watching
some British shows, I started to feel a lot of discomfort - just antsiness that I couldn't be satisfied
by just 'watching' the shows. I tried to sit still and yet I couldn't. So I started to shift my perspective towards,
from just watching, to somehow relating the pattern of my general experience of my discomfort to 'see and ask myself' the questions of
or see my, normality (aka does this happen to anyone else?) It sort of felt like I was losing my marbles a little bit and yet relating it to the outside world of other folks,
I wondered if at times other folks feel as though they're started to experience life 'outside of feeling'
and it seemed a plausible thing to me. So in result I was calmed and reassured by that. I started to trust
my mind's own process and about observing and thinking about what I was feeling and seeing on the tv too. It gave
me new insight into the nature of producing, design and acting for the camera...just a case in point of this particular time of where my mind was going and of me
starting to feel ok with where I started to tangentialize while watching.
Sometimes we have to look 'outside of beauty' to see our strength and truth. Sometimes we all
are faced with mysteries in life - that we're suddenly set upon to then needing to find our footing again.
Even sitting on the couch while watching the Brit-show, I felt like the world was crashing down on my head...
because it wasn't enough to just sit and watch -
but I just adjusted my perspective - related myself and body - and started to feel comfortable and calmed
in a different way. I'd like to do more today. I feel like sitting still I'm becoming like stale in my packaging..
But so far the day hasn't been too shabby. Hope you guys are having a good Saturday!!!
Replies
mysteries all around us. maybe i like a little mystery in my life. maybe it's not all about 'the way it's done' but maybe
about 'the way i'll do it' - keep in the fight.. keep on keeping on!
personally, i could live without the mystery, but the cosmos forgot to ask my opinion, AGAIN! ! ! over the course of learning how to let the mystery be, i've developed some appreciation for mysteries, but only some. i'd still rather be omniscient if nature allowed it. i'm not a big fan of surprises.
over the course of learning how, when and where to trust my proverbial marbles, i've come to believe i shouldn't worry it too hard because 1) getting a bit crazy is part of the learning curve. 2) i'm not always the crazy one. whether i can trust my mental state, or knot, it is all i have to work with. this be yet another good place to let the mystery be.
awesome arfie! I love it! I am coming to a greater appreciation of the dynamicals :)
I don’t really love mysteries, per se, but I do like to discover the truth and reality of things that were once mysterious or I at least wondered about them. Maybe that’s just a love of learning?
Losing marbles - sometimes I have. But things like home and a pod we live within ground us, don’t they? I keep my projects lined up, no matter how big or small, but yes, I do sort of reminisce of more exciting times.
Then I remember now is exciting too, in a new and totally different way.
Shifting gears - it’s a good thing.
You are so full of ponderifications today, Marko.
Thanks Nikki. So psyched for you and the new work at the office!
Big hug Mark.... I'm sorry that you've been struggling......and no you aren't crazy..... You have a disorder that can be miserable at times... I'm glad that you work so hard to find ways through those difficult hours and I do believe Mr Markowiec that you almost always come out on top.... xo
Thanks Jan!