Doctor's Appointments

So I have two doctor's appointments coming up.  I have my obgyn one tomorrow and I have my gp one on tuesday.  My sister is a saint to watch my kids two days in a row like that.  Plus she didn't even ask what they were for (like I would've) so I haven't had to explain.  So tomorrow I will get to finally ask about the discharge and hopefully the doctor will either want to explore more or will be able to soothe my mind about it.  For my tuesday appointment I am hoping that the doctor willl feel the lump and be able to tell me more about what it could be and order any further tests I need.  Also I will talk to her about my fatigue and hopefully she can find the cause.  Here in the last week or so I have also been having another issue that I am unsure about mentioning sometimes when I move my neck it feels like my throat catches on something.  So that made me think it was my thyroid might have a nodule on it or something but all the pictures i see on the internet they are even visible from the outside but when I look at mine in the mirror i do not see anything.  Plus i just saw my previous doctor in January for fatigue and she did a physcial test where they lightly feel up your neck and she also did bloodwork both were fine.  I am not sure if it is just psychological because i have been so anxious or if it is something I should bring up.  

I will update afterwards.

Update 7/20: I had my obgyn appointment today and it went well. The doctor was very nice and seemed to know her stuff.  I'm not going to lie I wanted her to tell me that as long as there was no physical changes and the fact I just had a clear mammogram that it was ok.  That's not what happened though, instead she did a breast exam and then asked me some questions.  After that she ordered a diagnostic mammogram (which I learned today is different then a screening one), an ultrasound, some bloodwork that included hcg test (pregnancy test, which I can only assume will show I am not pregnant because we have been super careful), prolactin test (I guess prolactin is produced by the pituitary gland so women can breastfeed, this test would show if it is malfunctioning), and a tsh (which is to test the thyroid.)  Before I even got out of the office the imaging center had called to set up the appointment for the mammogram and the u/s for next Tuesday, so about a week away.  Which is good that they got right back to me but it also makes me wonder if that means it is more certain that it is something serious.  Also I had to tell my sister all that was going on because I needed her to watch the kids again next week.  I was going to take the blood test right afterwards but I noticed on my paperwork that they don't want you to take a blood test if in the last twenty-four hours you had a multi-vitamin that contained biotin because I guess that can throw the results off.  So I will do it after my appointment tomorrow.  I know my thyroid level is going to be fine because it always is even though I really want it to be the reason why my fatigue is so bad right now.  Having a bad thyroid seems more fixable the having c.  Which is my big fear especially with how long I mistook my symptoms for something else for so long.  I am trying to remain hopeful and continue to place my trust in the Lord but I keep having doubts and the worse case scenario is always waiting for me.  It feels like that is the only logical option is the worse case scenario and that any hope I have is a fool's errand.  I will update more tomorrow.

Update 7/21: Well I should be done with my second appointment by now but just as I was about to leave the house I got a phone call from the doctor's office that the doc had gotten sick and they would have to reschedule my appointment.  Thankfully they had one available for Thursday morning.  So still better then my original appointment of next Tuesday but I am disappointed.  Although I wasn't super hopeful for answers today but I thought I would at least get the doctors opinion on the lump and get the ball rolling on any tests or follow-up.  Instead I am going to at least get the obgyn bloodwork done even though it is never my thyroid and I am not holding out a lot of hope that they will reveal anything.  Although if the Lord wills it it could do I will try not to doubt or lose hope.  

Update 7/22: My bloodwork came back today.  They were all in normal ranges including the tsh.  I'm not gonna lie even though I know it is never my thyroid I was still kind of disappointed that my fatigue couldn't be explained as a malfunctioning thyroid because my fear then escalates that it is my worse case scenario.  Another reason is because it would've explained so many of my symptoms the fatigue, the palpitations, brain fog, the fact I get more cold lately, so many things and now I'm back to imagining the worst.  My fatigue feels worse the last couple of days chest feels heavy, no energy.  My anxiety is high and I have to get up so early so I am not getting enough sleep so I know all that isn't helping but I think there is another deeper cause.  I am trying to maintain hope but it's difficult.  I will update again after my appointment tomorrow.

Update 7/23: Had my gp appointment today.  I was kind of disappointed to tell you the truth.  This is the first time seeing this doctor and so I wasn't sure what to expect.  The office seemed to be running a bit slow and I ended up waiting awhile.  When I did finally see her, she seemed distracted, is the only way i can describe it.  I felt like she wasn't totally present. It makes me wonder if she was out of the office on tuesday because of some personal situation.  But anyway she was trying to nail down exactly how my fatigue was presenting itself so she was asking me a bunch of questions and she seemed fraustrated by my answers.  I wasn't sure how else to explain my fatigue other then the tasks I normally do with no problem is making a bit breathless now to do them.  She also kept asking if I was down or depressed or anxious.  I said no to the first two but I did admit to being slightly anxious because with all that was going on who wouldn't be at least a little anxious.  In the end she said she needed my previous medical records and after she saw those she would order the blood work and see me in a month.  She was about to leave the room when I reminded her she hadn't actually looked at the lump on my neck my other reason for being there.  So she turned around and kind of did a half-hearted inspection.  She was having a hard time feeling it, which was one of the things I was worried about with the appointment, finally she said she would order an ultrasound but since she didn't write it down I am worried she forgot because she was in a hurry to end the appointment.  I wonder if she had a lot of patients today trying to make up for missing tuesday.  So I filled out a form to have my records sent over and then I went home.  I guess it is a wait and see situation.  I am praying that she did write down the ultrasound order and that my records come in so that the bloodwork can be ordered and we can finally figure out what is going on.  Should I take it as a good sign she couldn't find the bump and didn't seem that worried about?  I am not sure considering how distracted she was and how she seemed in hurry at the end I just don't know.   I will update after my appointment on tuesday.  

Please God have both appointments go well and have the doctor's order the tests that need to be ordered in order to figure out what is going on.  Please heal me. Please Please Please God have mercy on me.