Do something that makes you feel good about yourself!

I have to admit that this morning in services I was at my wit's end again.

Just feeling like I couldn't do anything right, that my brain was just cotton wadding and pleasure oriented

and that I only could respond to physical or emotional input - rather than the text and music

in the church service. I really strained again but found myself lacking for comprehension

and unison with the group. I thought 'ok, this is something

to listen to' and that 'maybe I should try to keep that in mind and then also experiment with ways

that helped make me feel at least of value and positive.' I eventually thought to myself as services

kept on that 'god might have made this

handicapped useless person but I know I will still do good in the way that i can in life." Though I may

not be intellectually talented in order to work with texts and music...I will keep on keeping on in the

way that I can - and do good. Writing this now I know I will learn more in time - I just will learn in my own way.

But when it was over, I came back to my room after morning meal. I turned on the radio and I just felt enlivened by the beautiful

music, but somehow frozen in that grace. Again a moment for experimentation. I thought.

I'll get myself out of this funk - and just do something that makes me feel good about myself.

This music certainly does - and so does writing here. It's a start... Keep on keeping on - make it

a great day!!