divorce payment number 2

i feel alone.  logic tells me im not, but i feel alone.  and i feel stupid.  i know...i think theres no shame...i feel ashamed for loving my husband....im angry that i no longer have that bit of stability....its only a bit of stability, but its some.  i like saying my husband.  saying that i have a partner.  im not alone.  but with no husband i dont have a partner.  i am alone.  my children r a source of company but they r not my partners.  some nites i wish to have a companion.  and now with me being out of work i have even more time on my hands.  and im spending very little of that time doing anything constructive.  this baby is moving around more and more. 
i guess i have to learn to allow God to comfort me and stop looking for comfort elsewhere.  God after all is the comforter.