Divorced
I signed the waiver today and according to his religion, he has divorced me.
I feel..... unprepared. I didnt think he was going to do it today (Islamicly) So I didnt expect it. I am hurt. Its stupid, we have been "divorcing since 2010 and still....even though I dont love him or am in love with him...whatever.... It still hurts.
why does it have to hurt. why cant it feel like nothing. why cant it feel like a party or like a great start just lighting up, instead it feels disappointing, at a fucking loss. Im so stupid...I would have stuck it out like an idiot even IF i wasnt happy. I am free, why cant I just be glad about it. Why am I so sad at this loss, I should feel empowered.....I am watching my puppy play on the floor. He makes me happy....I wouldnt have him if i were married...I would just be sitting here a mess I am sure.
I dont want to talk to anyone, I didnt know it was going to be today. I hope i forget today. i hope it vanishes, i hope the whole thing vanishes from my mind.
I feel..... unprepared. I didnt think he was going to do it today (Islamicly) So I didnt expect it. I am hurt. Its stupid, we have been "divorcing since 2010 and still....even though I dont love him or am in love with him...whatever.... It still hurts.
why does it have to hurt. why cant it feel like nothing. why cant it feel like a party or like a great start just lighting up, instead it feels disappointing, at a fucking loss. Im so stupid...I would have stuck it out like an idiot even IF i wasnt happy. I am free, why cant I just be glad about it. Why am I so sad at this loss, I should feel empowered.....I am watching my puppy play on the floor. He makes me happy....I wouldnt have him if i were married...I would just be sitting here a mess I am sure.
I dont want to talk to anyone, I didnt know it was going to be today. I hope i forget today. i hope it vanishes, i hope the whole thing vanishes from my mind.
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