discovery

It has been quite a long time since I have last wrote. Things were going well and I was really focused on school and work. I am I still am and everything but it kinda consumed every moment that I had and everything else was on the back burner. Well not everything I was still focused on persuing my own forgiveness and out to do good, but writing was pushed to the back of my mind and so was anxiety and the guilt. I felt like I had no worries, little did I know I was just shoving them down again.
Today I woke up and pretty much had one of the worst days of my life. I cried most of it and was irritated by everything that happened today, right now I don't want to give details because I am uncertain and uncomfortable. 
What I can say is, no matter what happens I will be alright, it is not the end of the world but it is heart wrenching. I thought this part of my life was over but apparently it is only beginning. It isnt about my accident but I feel as though it is a consequence that comes from every bad thing I have ever done. 
Needless to say, I have no answers right now, only questions, or is it the questions I seek and I already have the answers.