Dinner event

I thought I had made progress.  I was wrong.  My anger level is still gawd awful and I am a thorough fool.  Probably lost my daughter tonight over dinner and I am as blue as I can be.  She should not speak to me for 2 years at least.  I deserve that fully.  I took 2 stress pills, just 2 - not taking the whole bottle though I easily could.  I want to drive the car to a field and sleep or find a cabin.  Am not a fit human being at all and wonder why my parents ever gave birth to me.