Dig Deep

Depression is literally eating me alive every day. I'm getting worse by the moment. I'm not even making a point to reach out to anyone anymore.

I feel as if I'm drowning in shallow water. My body could physically move but my mind is devoid of all function.

I have an interview tomorrow. I need this job more than badly. I have to dig deep and find the motivation to make it. I've spent the last two days in bed. I feel so powerless.

It's such a struggle to find the motivation to do better when suicidal thoughts continue to float around. Not much interests in much anymore. I barely crave food. I eat probably once a day...if that. Music doesn't do much for me. Not much interest in even going outside. I just breathe and exist. I'm a shell.

I'm so anxious about how I'll function in a job again. I laid awake and thought about it last night. I'm anxious about interviewing and accepting and working. I'm drowning.