Different Time Zone

I have finally figured out why people who have not lost their spouses expect us to "get over it" so fast; it is because they are in a different time zone.  At 15 months out from Stan's death, I did not expect to continue to feel so  much sadness and loneliness.  Fifteen months sounds like a lot of time on paper, but it feels different emotionally.  Like it or not, I have these two different calendars and two different clocks that I am attempting to live by, and draw together, but often times they are running along separate parallel lines.  Yesterday when someone at church asked me how I was, I said "all right" but I thought "not really - I'm still in pain".  I gave him the answer I knew he would understand, not the one I was feeling.  I wonder how long it will be before I feel back in "real" time again.