did something stupid and I have to own it
Over the weekend, well on Sunday, I bought myself a bottle of Prosecco.
It's like champagne but sweeter and cheaper. It's really good.
But I had the whole day to myself yesterday - my usual trip to my family did not happen
and I ended up drinking the entire bottle here at home.
Today I am feeling just so 'down' and at the mercy of life...and part of it might be
that I didn't go to my parents yesterday ..."A break in the routine" - yep I think I am that
sensitive.. but also I think it's because I had alcohol in a big quantity yesterday and the
after effects are making me feel not so confident, miserable in fact today, and I think
I need to own it. I may like to drink at times.. I will be totally frank about that - but
now my emotions are really down and feeling so worthless and just disorganized (suicidal a bit too.)
SO I may like it - but I have to recognize that it's not good for my mental health. It's a weird duality
and it's hard for me to almost see the two thoughts at once - but I must know that I can't really do
things like this and hope to feel or be healthy. It has left me feeling sloppy and not proud.
In fact lowly and down and like I feel like I occupy a shameful place in the world. I want to feel
positive as much as I can - and feel productive.
My mood has swung up and down today - A high point was watching an interview on BBC World News channel
called "Hard Talk." I saw an interview with an adventurer named Bertrand Piccard. He was so great, positive
and inspiring. He talked about the challenges people face in life - they're different for everyone...and when
people stay to much in routine and a kind of 'straight line' in life - they tend to get depressed and don't feel fulfilled.
I thought it was a nice observation. In any case his accomplishments were great and it made me want to achieve as well.
Replies
I think in a way I respond to a sense of discipline in life - maybe I won't over think it - I look forward to going to my yoga class on Wednesday. Tomorrow back to work.
I'm wondering if you have already overthunk it. Just wondering.
Dunno why, but I have an urge to tell you of a North Texas tea-totaler I had the privilege of sharing a glass of wine with way back in the last millennium. She came of age during the prohibition and had never tasted alcohol until she developed insomnia in her early 90's. Her doctor prescribed a glass of wine before bedtime. She resisted at first until, at last, at 95, she gave it a try.
She clinked her glass against mine and said, "If I'd'a knowed it was this much fun, I mighta tried it at 80."
Jonnie never got to see the new millennium. I miss her.
hahaha that is so funny!
I have portion control problems. For some reason alcohol is not big with me anymore. I used to like beer. I used to go out to lunch a lot. Now I can take it or leave it. Food, on the other hand...I have issues with. I really need to go on a diet.
Careful with that alcohol. I would not get into a routine with that stuff..at least not on the weekdays. Maybe once or every other weekend. Dunno. Hope you feel better.
yes, it's a weekend thing - but not always.
Alcohol is a depressant so it's not going to help your mood at all. Plus, being hung over will make one feel bad about themselves. I don't think you should get so down on yourself. it doesn't sound like you do this very often.
thanks becky!