Did I Really Do This????
I have been unhappy in my relationship for awhile now. So has he, or so I think. It seems we fight a ridiculous amount, and we spend alot of time going to bed in angry silence.
Last night I just couldn't take it anymore. I took off my promise ring and my engagment ring and I gave them back. I told him I didn't want to leave him, that I loved him, but that I couldn't marry someone who wasn't happy with me.
He actually told me that he didn't see a problem in our relationship!! He had anger issues as a child, and they are starting to rear up again, and it scares me.
He yells at me for little things, like the other day, he was changing his tires and we had to go out. So I kenneled the dog and he told me not to forget to lock the door. So I double made sure I locked it, and then it turned out his keys weren't in the car like he thought, they were inside. And I didn't grab my key because I just assumed he had his. That made it all my fault. And he stood in the garage yelling at me. Or last night, we went to a movie, and he had had a dentist appointment that ran late, so by the time we got to the theatre the show was sold out. He made a big scene in the lobby, somehow blaming it on my that we didn't get tickets. I was humiliated! And he thinks a mumbled 'sorry but you shouldn't of.....' is enough to make it all go away.
He wouldn't talk to me last night. The hurt in his eyes tore at my heart. But I have to do this! I have to make him see that our relationship is falling apart and I want to stop it. I told him we could try counselling, we could have nightly talks, we could do anything...I just want to make it better.
He will be good for a few days, then he will snap.
And the only emotion he shows me anymore is anger. He rants and raves about money....how I never pay for gas, for heat, for the mortgage, for groceries. We have a joint bank account! All my money is in the same account all the bills come out of. And he stills calls it 'his money' or 'his account'.
I'm tired, and I need to do something. I don't want to leave him, and for all I know, this angered him enough that he's going to kick me out. Or he's going to try to pretend like nothing happened. Like he usually does.
But I'm so lost, and I'm not going to let him sluff it off. I just can't get him to talk to me.
I asked him last night, after I gave the rings back, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. And he shrugged. He told me he wasn't thinking or feeling anything. That hurt, alot. I just reduced our status back to just dating, and he acts like he doesn't even care. He tells me that it doesn't really matter. Just like when he makes me cry, or I sleep on the couch. Doesn't seem to bother him.
Arrrrgggg.....I'm just so overwhelmed!
Last night I just couldn't take it anymore. I took off my promise ring and my engagment ring and I gave them back. I told him I didn't want to leave him, that I loved him, but that I couldn't marry someone who wasn't happy with me.
He actually told me that he didn't see a problem in our relationship!! He had anger issues as a child, and they are starting to rear up again, and it scares me.
He yells at me for little things, like the other day, he was changing his tires and we had to go out. So I kenneled the dog and he told me not to forget to lock the door. So I double made sure I locked it, and then it turned out his keys weren't in the car like he thought, they were inside. And I didn't grab my key because I just assumed he had his. That made it all my fault. And he stood in the garage yelling at me. Or last night, we went to a movie, and he had had a dentist appointment that ran late, so by the time we got to the theatre the show was sold out. He made a big scene in the lobby, somehow blaming it on my that we didn't get tickets. I was humiliated! And he thinks a mumbled 'sorry but you shouldn't of.....' is enough to make it all go away.
He wouldn't talk to me last night. The hurt in his eyes tore at my heart. But I have to do this! I have to make him see that our relationship is falling apart and I want to stop it. I told him we could try counselling, we could have nightly talks, we could do anything...I just want to make it better.
He will be good for a few days, then he will snap.
And the only emotion he shows me anymore is anger. He rants and raves about money....how I never pay for gas, for heat, for the mortgage, for groceries. We have a joint bank account! All my money is in the same account all the bills come out of. And he stills calls it 'his money' or 'his account'.
I'm tired, and I need to do something. I don't want to leave him, and for all I know, this angered him enough that he's going to kick me out. Or he's going to try to pretend like nothing happened. Like he usually does.
But I'm so lost, and I'm not going to let him sluff it off. I just can't get him to talk to me.
I asked him last night, after I gave the rings back, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. And he shrugged. He told me he wasn't thinking or feeling anything. That hurt, alot. I just reduced our status back to just dating, and he acts like he doesn't even care. He tells me that it doesn't really matter. Just like when he makes me cry, or I sleep on the couch. Doesn't seem to bother him.
Arrrrgggg.....I'm just so overwhelmed!
Replies