Detrimental behavior

Okay, okay. Enough of this blue, desolate, guilt-ridden pity party.  Ever since Skye reported that she is not going to college, I have immersed myself in vapid novels, solitaire, mindless television, and randomly surfing the web.  I have neglected my strengthening and stretching exercises, my relaxation techniques, and my cognitive training, as well as housework.  I abandoned my diet and consumed an entire package of cookies.  This has gone on for the past week, a week in which the days seemed endless. I have, however, continued to pray.  Now, it is time I get myself back in hand.  I got a bit of a start over the weekend.  Don and I went to Sioux Falls to celebrate our anniversary – number 39!  We went through Brookings on the way and dropped off some totes for Skye to pack her stuff in as she moves from the dorm to her apartment.  I felt awkward and Don chastised me later for being so stand-offish.  I did the best I could.  I’m just happy that I did not burst into tears or explode in a rage.  I told him that if Skye had just talked to me honestly about her decision when she was home, maybe I wouldn’t feel so hurt.  I would still have been greatly disappointed, but I could have overcome that much easier than this feeling of alienation and betrayal.  Don pointed out that she may have intended to talk to me that Sunday, but then was too afraid.  I turned to him and demanded, “Why should she be afraid of me?  I’m not the one who yells and curses!” (Okay, I know that wasn’t a nice thing to say, but I was on edge.)  Don looked at me and said quietly, “Maybe not, but your tone alone can be devastating.”  Hmmm. Perhaps he has a point.  I’ll try to work on that.  Perhaps I should also make a point of telling Skye that I am impressed by her determination and the courage she has shown in this move for independence.  She has always been so timid and reluctant to do anything on her own.  I know her boyfriend is helping her.  She has hooked up with a girl who graduated last year and who has been living with her mother – no job, no college.  They plan to share an apartment, find a job, and save money – at least that is what she told me.  This girl and Skye used to smoke pot together.  So, I am still praying.
 Anyway, Don and I had a nice time in Sioux Falls.  It was too hot for me to spend any time at Falls Park, but we got together with Matt.  He is always fun.  Matt and Don had some errands to run, so they dropped me off to visit with my cousin Patsy.  That was good for me.  I was able to talk to her about Skye without any tear leakage!
 Now we are back home and I must get back to my exercise and housework routine.  It is actually cooler today, so maybe I can go outside and give my poor, neglected roses some attention.