my humanity and destructive energy

i began writing this last night...times like these. when, i go to bed. i am challenged with a lot of destructive energy. It needles away at me when I try to rest..It's almost always been there since I was little and I don't know why I get it so.

It takes the form of attacking my mind and I just have to experiment on how to try and quiet it and somehow expel it

and achieve a kind of equilibrium within. 

Recently I have thought of 'it and myself' in the framework that if I were a doctor or even a veterinarian dealing with 'myself' - tending to my own care -, what would be the answer?... 

I better give myself the time and adjustment each night to just deal with it - I am glad of those nights when I can fall asleep easily without it - But I know it's something to cope with....

and this morning when I awoke I thought of how I have heard others speak of destructive energy as well..so I am I know now

- at least realizing it - that I am not alone in it.... and it helps me concern myself with a sense of humanity about it

and a sense of commonality about it....

I don't want to give it too much of the center stage - it just is a weird side of my human animal... 

I have more to write... will write soon.

Sending prayers and good vibes,

Peace friends! To find balance is a good thing!!

Mark