Desperate. :(
Sooo... I started law school. Yay. I had three wonderful months where I didn't pull out my hair AT ALL and I had beautiful little eyelashes growing in.
And now I want to cry. I can safely say that now, the pulling is the worst it has been in the 20-plus years I've been doing it. I pretty much pull from the time I get home until I go to bed unless I'm actively doing something else with my hands - cooking, eating, etc. The hardest part is that I have ALWAYS pulled when I studied, although sometimes I could control it more than others. But just sitting there reading it is next to impossible for me not to pull, and now pretty much all of the hair from the top of my head is gone. I've never had a legit bald spot before... and now there's one almost the size of my palm. I am so, so, SOSOOOOOO upset, because before that this summer was the first time I wasn't worried about wind, getting my hair wet, etc. And now all the old horrible feelings are back, and on top of being stressed about law school and not getting very much sleep and not having a lot of time to grocery shop/eat right I have the added stress of worrying about being so bald.
I don't know how to deal with this. Before, it was more of a habit with occasional pulling sprees where the urge was so bad I felt like I couldn't stop. If I wanted to stop pulling, though, most of the time I felt like I could, at least for a little while. Now, I just feel like I'm going crazy - like I have no control over my hands, and I can't stop even when I wear a hat/bandana. I either just take the bandana off and go to town or I start pulling from my eyelashes. I've even started on my brows again, which I haven't done in years.
I'm desperate. Does anyone have any suggestions - I don't care how stupid/silly they are - that can make the URGES go away? I can't really do the money thing I was doing before, because I'm living on student loans. (Hah. Another stressor. ) I tried studying in the library, but I've started pulling there, too. PLEASE HELP ME! :(
And now I want to cry. I can safely say that now, the pulling is the worst it has been in the 20-plus years I've been doing it. I pretty much pull from the time I get home until I go to bed unless I'm actively doing something else with my hands - cooking, eating, etc. The hardest part is that I have ALWAYS pulled when I studied, although sometimes I could control it more than others. But just sitting there reading it is next to impossible for me not to pull, and now pretty much all of the hair from the top of my head is gone. I've never had a legit bald spot before... and now there's one almost the size of my palm. I am so, so, SOSOOOOOO upset, because before that this summer was the first time I wasn't worried about wind, getting my hair wet, etc. And now all the old horrible feelings are back, and on top of being stressed about law school and not getting very much sleep and not having a lot of time to grocery shop/eat right I have the added stress of worrying about being so bald.
I don't know how to deal with this. Before, it was more of a habit with occasional pulling sprees where the urge was so bad I felt like I couldn't stop. If I wanted to stop pulling, though, most of the time I felt like I could, at least for a little while. Now, I just feel like I'm going crazy - like I have no control over my hands, and I can't stop even when I wear a hat/bandana. I either just take the bandana off and go to town or I start pulling from my eyelashes. I've even started on my brows again, which I haven't done in years.
I'm desperate. Does anyone have any suggestions - I don't care how stupid/silly they are - that can make the URGES go away? I can't really do the money thing I was doing before, because I'm living on student loans. (Hah. Another stressor. ) I tried studying in the library, but I've started pulling there, too. PLEASE HELP ME! :(
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