Depression hurts...

I don't know how to explain how I am feeling right now. I slept ok last night and woke up early this morning but stayed in bad and just lied there. School starts tomorrow and I don't begin classes until Tuesday. I am sure that it will make a dent in my journaling process, but hopefully I can keep it going because I do think that it has a therapeutic aspect to it. After what happened on Friday night I am somewhat scared of what happened to me with my friends. I think that Katie went out last night and, you know I shouldn't go out, but it's always nice to be invited, you know? I think that I am going to stop drinking and stop smoking pot. I feel better and more in charge when I am not under those influences. For a better diet I think that I am going to go soda free as well. 
 
I am sure that things will get a little better once I start school. I will be able to wrap my head around something other than the shit that I worry about now. I am somewhat nervous that Sam Ortiz is not going to have the position open for me this semester while I am dyeing to be her assistant and start working for the school and the student again. Plus I feel valued and appreciated there unlike places like Aramark. I am really tired right now and I better rest some. I will try to hop on later and talk some more. 
 
Goodnight moon.