depression and anxiety

old habits die hard.   i'm screwing around on him again.   i'm miserable with him but don't want to jump in another relationship either.    this guy i'm screwing around on him with is very good looking.  he takes me as i am, we get along well and have a lot of passion for each other.   he's a workaholic, has 3 kids.  just like me in some ways.  half hispanic, half white, 36.   he's from california, has a TON of tattoos.   was a bad boy at one time until he had his kids.   it changed him for the better.  it's just a matter of time before i really blow up on my 'current'.  he is such a crybaby bitch.   i can't stand him.  i'm a hot mess.