Depression according to Mr all depressed again

What if depression is not actually an illness? But rather our attitude and perception of the symptoms of it that is the problem?

Sparing the world my life problems let's just say august is around the corner and already greeting me with the ominous smile of seasonal depression.

It's become such a pattern, the frantic money making and bonding and acquisition of anything of value like a bear preparing tirelessly before the winter. And then it hits and by that time I'm just about settled in somewhere a getting ready for another six months of will I make it through this.

It gets kinda old after a while to be honest.

There's a point where you get used to it and I'm at that point now and looking upon my predicament with fresh eyes. What exactly is it that is so bad? I ask myself.

Low energy? Isn't that just another state. Like the state to enter as night comes and you transition to sleep?

Sadness, grief, sorrow, fear, anxiety, loneliness, rage, self doubt and confusion. Arnt these emotions? You know, those function keys of mind and body state in response to thing we encounter as a means to deal with them some effective way according to our mammalian brain? And isn't this colourful little spectrum of feeling an indication of an inner storm taking place. You know, that weather process in which equilibrium is restored.

Suicidal thoughts? Wait isn't this that defense mechanism you learn as a child when faced with an emotionally overwhelming situation as the promise of a possible out if things get impossibly worse, which later deteriorates into a personal emotional dipstick so you can gauge your level of pain and suffering according to how much you want to kill yourself?

And whelo said I have to take my thoughts so seriously in the first place? And on that note who said I have to take my life so seriously so as to want to end it? And who said I have to take my pain or pleasure so seriously as if the earth is kicking and screaming with me as my pain tolerance goes through another adjustment. I'm just not that big a deal honestly.

The more I accept reality, life and myself the easier the process becomes. It doesn't get any less painfully or destructive and even dangerous but you know crossing the road is dangerous but you still gotta get around. And a younge adult in Saudi Arabia owning a car is dangerous. And so is being alive. The more you greet it the easier it becomes. Just turn down the background commentary on everything that's going on and let it go on and then see a little while afterwards if you thought of killing yourself as much as before.