depression

I can cut the depression with a knife today. Or actually I wish I could, then I could have it in managable chunks. It's been almost 4 weeks, and if anything I feel worse than I did. Was hoping by now to feel somewhat better. I'm not crying non-stop, but any and everything sets me off. The feeling of lonliness and dread surrounds me like a cloud. I've been having dreams about him, so even my sleep is affected, and then waking up from these dreams is like a daily torture. 

Trying to deal with my daughter's illness as well. In and out of the hospital, worrying about her, worrying about her bills. I've been thinking of going away for a few days by myself, but with everything going on with her I really can't. 

My therapist ordered me to "do something fun" this weekend, Ended up at the hospital most of the day, came home and slept for a few hours, ate something, walk to dog, and back to the hospital. Although I don't know if I even remember how to have fun. I used to have a lot of fun. WE used to have a lot of fun. I don't know what to do, but the dog needs walking and I'm picking up my sister in 1/2 an hour, so let me go now.