depressing realization

I'm not sure where to start....I guess with me. I have a history of self harm, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts. Reaching out for help has always been a crap shoot. After my first attempt I was at the hospital, but they literally just berated the shit out of me and let me go later that night, no follow up or anything. I was 12 and I don't think my family wanted to deal with it either, so it was ignored. I struggled on my own several more years, never talking about it, before seeking help in 2012. I have an issue where as soon as I hit an obstacle I give up. I've sought help on and off, especially when the thoughts get bad, but like I said, anytime anything slows that down or throws me off I stop. Example: called a hotline, got a referral to a therapist, therapist is part time and feels given my history I should go to a more full service type mental health place and refers me to one, that I will call R. I have called R (and a few others) a few times, they always have a several month waiting list for new patients, so I always give up at that point.
Now, the other stuff. My boyfriend has dealt with mental health issues too. its been worse for him lately (which i guess us good as I have been okay lately, most too busy and too tired to be really suicidal). It culminated yesterday for him, when he messaged his brother about how depressed he was. His parents came over to our house, he went to the hospital to get some help.
which is great, it really is. I am so proud of him, hes done something I have not been brave enough to do.He was able to talk to people about how he has been feeling. he assured them that while depressed, he has never self harmed and even though he has thoughts of suicide he doesn't want to do that either. They don't believe he is a danger to himself, which I am happy of. What I guess makes me upset is, that they were so quick to get him the help he needed. when I went to the hospital they sent me home, no follow up, no nothing, and I tried to kill myself (granted this was years go, but still)! This is was the same hospital too! They lined him up with treatments starting tomorrow at...guess where? R! He is going to be going to outpatient hospitalization too. I call saying I hurt myself and sometimes I'm suicidal and want help, and am told its a 3 month wait. He goes to the hospital, says he is depressed but doesn't hurt himself or want to die and he still gets the help he needs. It hits me, that if I want help, I have to do more than ask for it, I have to scare the system. I have to go to the hospital, which scares the living shit out of me. I'm afraid that I will be too scared to ever get the help I need.