Deep thought
Okay the funeral for my grandma was yesterday. It was really nice grave side service. There's a building that was build in 2000 or so for veterans but many use it, it's rock with open sides and a front stair case. The weather was wonderful, not too hot with a slight breeze. It was a quick sermon and about 20 people showed up. My grandpa was impressed with how smoothly everything went about and that there wasn't any problems. She was given a white coffin with gold side bars and corners, got her a white nightgown (she wanted to buried like she was going to bed) and the light purple flowers we picked up for her were gorgeous. Shed some tears and got to see some family. It was really a nice day and couldn't have changed anything about it. We went back to the house with some of the guests and had some pizza and visited. My mom stayed for 2 days and visited a lot with my grandpa (this is my dad's family not her own) but she was and still is well loved by both. I can't think her enough for coming and helping.
Sad to say that things are hitting the ceiling here in regards to wills. My grandma left everything to my grandpa which is fine by me but of course there are those who are upset (nicest word I can think of) and I feel like I'm in the middle. I'm the oldest Grandchild and so I get to hear it from the badgers and from grandpa. My thoughts are that we can't change what's done. If grandma wanted someone to have something specific it would have been given. If grandpa wants to do what he wants to do so be it. It's his choice, no one else's. Do I care what I get? NO. I want their wishes to be respected and honored. That's it. So my grandpa is having someone help him sell some things to put away in saving. I know what my grandpa wants to do in regards to his will (splitting everything with 6 specific people) Am I going to be doubtful of who he leaves in charge? Probably but if my grandpa trusts him so do I. Don't gripe to me because you're not happy with the outcome or think you're going to get screwed. He's not dead yet and could live another 10 years you never know so why get worked up now? I know my grandpa doesn't have a will at the moment but I know he'll take care of it as soon as he can (he's waiting on grandma death certificate) She's been in the ground less than 48 hours and this is what I have to deal with at the moment. So that's my vent for the night :)
So somethings that's been on my mind. Someone here was kind enough to send me a message being concerned about me because yes I handle things a little differently. I like to use humor to cover up somethings as I process them, not that I am ignoring but usually I am the caretaker. Making sure everybody else is doing good and I work my emotions over time to adjust. I have some co-dependent qualities but can't say I am (besides when I was with the ex) but as I got to think of this wonderful person who was concerned about me it made me think of how it's not wrong to be so caring. That I don't think there is enough of it in the world and it made me feel really cared for. I had a few friends who texted me that day and made sure I was alright, sending me smiley faces, hearts and expressing their condolences but receiving it from someone out of the blue whom you least expect was really a wonderful feeling. I consider myself to be a caring person, sometimes maybe too caring and maybe that's a bad thing to some but I think I would rather care too much than too little or not at all. I have reached out to others on here and while some do respond and enjoy the thoughtfulness of the messages or hugs I send some don't and I have to respect that. Everyone processes things in their own way and I can't be upset if someone doesn't reciprocate the same energy I put out. With that being said I want to thank everyone who's been posting on my journals, who's expressed their condolences, who's given me strength during this tough time and even tho it may have been a few words it means more than you know in helping me get thru things. It's been GREATLY appreciated. I know I haven't been as active as I could be mainly lately I've just been trying to keep up with journals and new articles as they are posted but honestly I have a hard time giving good posting advice or input sometimes and especially in the mindset I am currently in. I know as the fog lifts here soon I will try to participate more because I do like to offer what help I can. I hope everyone realizes what an impact others have to each other. Whether you are new friends, old ones or not yet friends every little bit helps. Thanks again. :)
Sad to say that things are hitting the ceiling here in regards to wills. My grandma left everything to my grandpa which is fine by me but of course there are those who are upset (nicest word I can think of) and I feel like I'm in the middle. I'm the oldest Grandchild and so I get to hear it from the badgers and from grandpa. My thoughts are that we can't change what's done. If grandma wanted someone to have something specific it would have been given. If grandpa wants to do what he wants to do so be it. It's his choice, no one else's. Do I care what I get? NO. I want their wishes to be respected and honored. That's it. So my grandpa is having someone help him sell some things to put away in saving. I know what my grandpa wants to do in regards to his will (splitting everything with 6 specific people) Am I going to be doubtful of who he leaves in charge? Probably but if my grandpa trusts him so do I. Don't gripe to me because you're not happy with the outcome or think you're going to get screwed. He's not dead yet and could live another 10 years you never know so why get worked up now? I know my grandpa doesn't have a will at the moment but I know he'll take care of it as soon as he can (he's waiting on grandma death certificate) She's been in the ground less than 48 hours and this is what I have to deal with at the moment. So that's my vent for the night :)
So somethings that's been on my mind. Someone here was kind enough to send me a message being concerned about me because yes I handle things a little differently. I like to use humor to cover up somethings as I process them, not that I am ignoring but usually I am the caretaker. Making sure everybody else is doing good and I work my emotions over time to adjust. I have some co-dependent qualities but can't say I am (besides when I was with the ex) but as I got to think of this wonderful person who was concerned about me it made me think of how it's not wrong to be so caring. That I don't think there is enough of it in the world and it made me feel really cared for. I had a few friends who texted me that day and made sure I was alright, sending me smiley faces, hearts and expressing their condolences but receiving it from someone out of the blue whom you least expect was really a wonderful feeling. I consider myself to be a caring person, sometimes maybe too caring and maybe that's a bad thing to some but I think I would rather care too much than too little or not at all. I have reached out to others on here and while some do respond and enjoy the thoughtfulness of the messages or hugs I send some don't and I have to respect that. Everyone processes things in their own way and I can't be upset if someone doesn't reciprocate the same energy I put out. With that being said I want to thank everyone who's been posting on my journals, who's expressed their condolences, who's given me strength during this tough time and even tho it may have been a few words it means more than you know in helping me get thru things. It's been GREATLY appreciated. I know I haven't been as active as I could be mainly lately I've just been trying to keep up with journals and new articles as they are posted but honestly I have a hard time giving good posting advice or input sometimes and especially in the mindset I am currently in. I know as the fog lifts here soon I will try to participate more because I do like to offer what help I can. I hope everyone realizes what an impact others have to each other. Whether you are new friends, old ones or not yet friends every little bit helps. Thanks again. :)
Replies
Sorry for the loss of your grandmother.
Don\'t worry about not being so involved on DS. It\'s here for you in whatever capacity you need it. For more than a year, I just journaled and never went on the board because it was just too triggering. I\'m a little more active now, but mostly just journal to vent and document. And I also keep up on the journals of a few friends. It helps me, and that\'s the point. A lot of people just use it to get through a crisis and then leave forever, which is okay, too.
I\'m so sorry about your grandmother, and for the arguing after about who is gonna get what. That is sad, you know its not what your grandmother wanted. It isn\'t easy to rise above, but you are, trying to stay out of it. Good for you.
Glad that the funeral was perfect for your grandmother. And that you got some good time with your family and all the good things that went on that day. I have often found a funeral to end up as a celebration of what connects us.
Big hugs Anglvette.