Decisions Decisions- Alex

I have decided to not be Alex's friend anymore... As a friend, I have done everything I could to be there for her financially. Everytime we go out, she never has any money. I always pay for her food, I sometimes buy her clothes, and I even give her gift certificates to get food or toiletries. I have been a good friend to her because I know what kind of a rut she is in. She is about to be 22 (July 27th). She lives with her elderly grandma (80ish) on section 8. Her mom is a crackhead and I dont think dad was ever around. She has a younger brother and a younger sister and her sister has autism. She doesnt work and just kicks it most of her days. I know her situation and I help as much as I could because I THOUGHT we were friends. Thats not the case I feel. I feel she uses me for her personal needs. I dont think she respects me because Im not that positive about myself so she feels like she has the upper hand. I dont feel she gives back and I have done most of the giving for a little over a year.  I came to this conclusion at Zee's house. I was talking to Zee about it and she noticed a few things Alex does that is not healthy for me. She sees that there would be different actions taken in situations if she TRUELY cared for me. She also said I need to stop helping her and why do I do it. I said I do it because Alex is a stand up woman and I have faith one day she will repay her debt as a friend. But I havent seen that day yet. I havent even gotten a card or anything to say how much she appreciates me and there are 99 cent stores everywhere! Shit, create one out of college ruled paper! I dont care just please tell me you care somewhat!! I created a new goal today: HAVE POSITIVE PPL AROUND. I also want to update this goal and a few others: CROWN MY HEART EVERYDAY because I am respecting myself not to deal with this kind of behavior. TRUST AND VALIDATE MYSELF because I trust this is the right decision for my life and I am validating it. BECOME STRESS FREE because thats one less straw on the camels back. Thanks for reading and keep yourself aware out there y'all :)

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I love your journal. Its wonderful that you realized that your friend wasn\'t being true and carrying her own with you. I am in the same situation , my situation is pretty much done and gone in my eyes. I agree with you that, that is one less person to worry about and one less straw on the camels back. Friendship should be on a mutual basis not one sided and I realized that a lot of my friendships and even relationship I had were one- sided which is a truly mess up.... people weren\'t willing to give as much as I was willing to give which is cool cause I\'m finally noticing it now. New chapter! Becoming more associated with way better people.

I am as always proud of you

Much hugs
christa
deleted_user
deleted_user

I know that hurts you like hell, but trust me you are reaping the blessings right now, dont worry about alex she\'s not being fair 2 you or anyone for that matter, you\'re right surround yourself with positive, inspiring pple and you\'ll be surprised. I was like you once helped my former bff, who now is working at 1st she didnt appreciate me but now she does & dont give up on alex just pray 4 her & move on. Dont beat urself up about the situation.