December
I have been lacking on my updates on here as well as attending Al.anon. I have however, been attending therapy once a month and continuing on my spiritual journey toward forgiveness. I am also learning to accept that the drinking problems in my family are out of my hands and will most likely never end. A new generation of drinking/drug issues as arose with my little sister. This destruction I did foresee and tried to stop it but it is not under my control. My families household will never be free from the damage it has already seen and I must accept this. I am learning to accept myself as I am and change the things that I can *Serenity* Things are just difficult to deal with but I had a mini revelation last night.. I thought to myself (and actually started tearing up) that " I am not perfect, but those who have gone before me, God and thosethat are watching over me, would be proud of who I am, and what I am doing." If that isn't forgiveness I do not know what is. I know that I have flaws, I am manic, anxiety ridden, smoke cigarettes, eat too much chocolate, am greedy with my money and possessions, don't exercise enough or eat healthy enough, swear on occasion, gossip, am not always patient and kind (especially when I first wake up) but I have come so far from the evil that I once was that the person that I am today is a saint in comparison, and I am proud of who I am. I do need to continue to improve myself, I need to work on my anxiety, smoking and exercising for sure but I still am proud of my accomplishments and my flaws.
As far as the snow driving is concerned, I am still afraid but m trying to tackle my fears one drive at a time. I need prayers and luck, so help my out if you can.
The Al.anon meetings are just difficult to get to with my work schedule but this year coming up 2014 I will try to get back in the groove, I need to deal with my feelings about my sisters drinking and drug use as well as the rest of my family. My dad has been sober now for a long while and I am proud of him, I still hope he continues on his path, my mom has been OK but I caught her drinking on Thanksgiving night, and that was a fiasco. I yelled at her and she didn't talk to me for two days because she "didn't like my approach". SAVE IT, I frankly don't give a shit how you feel about my approach towards you drinking in the house with a sober husband of four months trying his hardest to stay clean and an 18 year old pot smoking, whiskey drinking coke head. Yeah I said it, and I mean it. I am fed up and standing my ground with this and not backing down. Did I forget to mention I am stubborn too lol.
As far as the snow driving is concerned, I am still afraid but m trying to tackle my fears one drive at a time. I need prayers and luck, so help my out if you can.
The Al.anon meetings are just difficult to get to with my work schedule but this year coming up 2014 I will try to get back in the groove, I need to deal with my feelings about my sisters drinking and drug use as well as the rest of my family. My dad has been sober now for a long while and I am proud of him, I still hope he continues on his path, my mom has been OK but I caught her drinking on Thanksgiving night, and that was a fiasco. I yelled at her and she didn't talk to me for two days because she "didn't like my approach". SAVE IT, I frankly don't give a shit how you feel about my approach towards you drinking in the house with a sober husband of four months trying his hardest to stay clean and an 18 year old pot smoking, whiskey drinking coke head. Yeah I said it, and I mean it. I am fed up and standing my ground with this and not backing down. Did I forget to mention I am stubborn too lol.
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