dealing with pain and life
a good day at work...
I was open at the start of the day, and some people were friendly
and some people were not...and slowly the down, barren and unloved
feelings came to me, I lost momentum and then thought about the
idea 'to bring my own sunshine' wherever I went. I thought about yesterday
how sometimes after dealing with others you kind of have to take a beat and keep
at life. "Carrying my own sunshine" definitely inspired me and gave me some
respect for others doing just the same.
I wonder how others deal with their pain at times? Does 'bringing your own sunshine'
take the form of 'faith' or 'art works' or some action? I need to create some projects maybe.
After work today, I came back to the house and like anyone, had to deal with doing my errands, cleaning up the mess and just getting on with the day.
I found it difficult to deal with things. Driving to get my 'meds' makes me nuts, I can do it - but
I have to totally focus and even then my mind starts to splinter. I turn on the radio - then turn it off - get over stimulated and then have to turn it on again.
Anyways, I am kind of accepting, in part, that I can't deal with my day so well.
It's not good or bad but it's hard. I don't know why my senses are on overload
It's not good or bad but it's hard. I don't know why my senses are on overload
but so it goes.
I can remember yesterday and my day at work today and things are definitely progressing. Sometimes I feel like I have to pray to god for permission to do stuff - and to feel like I am headed in the right direction. Right now, I kind of have to make peace with just who I am, and my solitary day. No pressure, just a day.
I'll try and make the best of it, and worthwhile.
Replies
mark, not going to say much except you expect too much of yourself at times...my opinion, of course...you cannot be 100% sunshine 100% of each moment of each day and night. If you think you can...well, I can't help you. I can't support that either.
I'm not 99% many, many days and weeks, etc.; I do the very best I can. I'm a positive person, but I am far from perfect..."it" gets to me...whatever the "it" of the moment or day or whatever is.
I'm not sure, but are you alright otherwise? Did someone or something get to you...maybe you are not even consciously aware of "it?" If you need to talk, I'm here. I hope I haven't offended you. I don't understand "like anyone having to do errands..."?? There are many that do, many that try to do and many who don't. I wish only the best for you. Take care.xo
thanks IWBD. I appreciate your response. Peace, M