Daydreaming of a funeral

So even the sight of a Jon-look-a-like kills me. I can't enjoy watching a Breaking Benjamin music video without crying because the frontman looks like HIM. I'm pathetic. I could very well be psychotic right now. All I can thinking about what I told him on Friday night about hating him and what if I killed myself and how'd he feel. Would he feel horrible? Would he think it's his fault? Would he hate himself? I don't even know. He has always put up a front and no one can tell what's going on in his head. He acts so tough like he hasn't any feelings..Who really knows unless I just die?!
 
But honestly I can't die. I can't kill myself. Just can't stop thinking about it.