Day 10

  Had a great sleep last night. My freind had some good news. They took the ventilator out from her mother, and she was talking to her last night. That was so wonderful. She's really gone through so much, with her dog dieing also. Such a good, sweet person. Funny how God seems to use those people. She's really a power for me. Doesn't do drugs or drink. I can't even imagine going through what she has, and staying straight. In a way, I'm glad that most of that stuff has already happened to me. My parents are dead, not that I'm happy, but I sure wouldn't want to go through that pain again. Anyway, seen Dillon last night. We talked a lot, but he's busy at times with the center. He asked me questions about my sobriety and what I've been doing. Accountability. I told him I looked after my bills, bought food, bought lots for my cat, sent some present to a freind, and I joined the gym, and I've been going. I've also done my counseling at John Howard, as well as keep contact with my freind daily. That was all last week. So, yea, I've been doing the right things. Keeping busy, and not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. We talked about problems that I see. What I see right now is that I'm learning about humility with my job. I'm no longer the one in charge, and I'm giving 100% respect to the people I work under. It's hard at times. Sometimes I want to say stuff, but I'm doing it. It's really not important to say what I know. I know the things I can do, and nobody can take that away from me. I don't need to prove myself verbally. Also by allowing the others the respect, I'm showing maturity towards them, which in turn gives me their respect. That's an important thing, but you don't get it by demanding it. Takes time. It is hard realizing that I'm not, or may not be the one that's always the center of attention. I have always been one for that, but I'm taking it easy on that. I also find that with being sober, I have all these minor things throughout the day that seem to iritate me. Just little things, that I may, or may not have to accept. Things like Tim leaving a dish in the sink, or him being on my computer when I get home. Not just with Tim either, sometimes when I'm supposed to meet with Dillon, he's not there. That bugs me at times. I know he's busy, but when you say your going to be there, you should. At least thats what I have always thought in recovery. But you know, we need these iritations to learn. Sometimes we get mad and push people or problems away, but without them, how are we going to learn? We learn patience by facing things that make us impatient. We learn tollerance from being around people or things that we find intolerable. Takes time. Anyway, I'm clean, and everything is alright. I found out the gym is open Christmas, so I can go swimming or in the whirl pool or sauna. Thats good. I'm going to the gym today for workout number two. I'm still very sore from the other day, but I'm going to do it. I wanted change, and this is part of it. I'm also going to go to the farmers market and get some food, see some people, and just see some life. Have to do my laundry too today. I found out theres a New Years dinner and dance here. It's an A.A. one. I love those things. So much fun dancing. I love it. I'm going to ask Mary if she wants to go with me. I'll pay the tickets. She's a good person that I know from the center. Good ol Newfie gal. Well, off for a great day. Thank you so much Lord. Show me your ways throughout the day, and give me the wisdom to respond the way you want. Thank you.