day 60, don't feel much like celebrating....
I'm sad and worried. I was so close to drinking yesterday. I noticed strongly the urge was there. To bolt. To numb. To escape my sadness and worry for my 19 yo. He won't surrender. He needs help. 2nd semester at college. Having anxiety. He has alot of pent up anger and emotions he keeps bottled up inside. Has ADHD. Struggles alot with organization, time management. He is feeling so overwhelmed and he doen't feel he has the time to get any help, because he already knows no one or nothing can help him. He just has to keep trying. I take on the struggles of my children. If they are struggling, then I am. I know that is not healthy for me. It almost drove me to drink yesterday. My stress yesterday did lead me to overeat. Yes sugar. I hate sugar. But I love it. Makes me feel like shit. My birthday is tomorrow.... certainly don't feel like celebrating that either. I will try and pull my self up today. :(
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Hey, we have something in common, October birthdays a week apart! Mine was Oct. 1. I think you have a lot to celebrate tomorrow Grace. Maybe you\'ve heard in sports that a certain team won the game, but it wasn\'t pretty? Tomorrow you will celebrate 61 days of sobriety on your birthday. Perhaps it wasn\'t pretty or easy, but you persevered and are winning. My daughter is 30 now and I\'m not contending with the issues of younger children that you are, which makes me admire your victory even more. In spite of all the issues and temptations coming your way, you\'re still hanging it there and enduring. Wow, I think that\'s amazing and an inspiration to others like me!
Well 1st off HAPPY early Birthday. Also 61 days sober. So proud of you. I totally get feeling your kids pain. Both mine of some things going on right now too. We are mom\'s and its kinda a big part of our job to worry about them. Even when they have kids of their own. I hope your son gets the help he needs. Is he able to come home? So you over ate yesterday. You didn\'t drink. That\'s good. Maybe go for a walk or try to exorcise today and then that overeating will not matter. You are not alone. oxox
Happy Belated birthday to you Robert and thank you for your kind words. Really wonderful and you are right. Mags, thank you. We are all in this together. I think about you a lot. You were one of the first I connected with on DS and now 61 days sober. I wouldn\'t be where I am without all the love and support I get here. Blessings and love to you both.