Day 5 on Cymbalta
went out for lunch with a friend today, but couldnt wait to get home where i feel safe.
dont know how I feel...dont know if I want to die....but dont want to live like this...as usual I cant wait for the day to be over so I can sleep.
(for those that actually read this...im sorry you have to put up with my terrible mood...thanks for your hugs and messages of support, they are greatly appreciated)
dont know how I feel...dont know if I want to die....but dont want to live like this...as usual I cant wait for the day to be over so I can sleep.
(for those that actually read this...im sorry you have to put up with my terrible mood...thanks for your hugs and messages of support, they are greatly appreciated)
Replies
omg i know about the \"wanting to get home to feel safe\". The basement is my safe spot. I go down there, watch tv and play on the computer at the same time to drown out my horrible thoughts, and finally when i\'m at the point of exhaustion (or my meds kick in) I sleep. I was plagued with suicidal thoughts last weekend and all i did was sleep. i even took sleeping pills so i\'d only be up to go to the bathroom and then take another to get straight back to sleep. trying to force yourself to move and do stuff is actually incredibly scary and tiring. I understand. I\'m trying to force myself out there now. just to see the sun.
keep on keepin on is what i\'m trying to say. and try to hold on. things are bound to get better.
Dont apologize about not feeling well. We are all in this with you. I feel the same way!! I like being home, in my bedroom especially. It is where I feel safe and its a space I can keep clean so it helps with my OCD. I too have been having suicidal thoughts. This is really hard to deal with sometimes. And all of my so called friends have disappeared and my cousin just thinks I am having a \"pity party.\" So I suffer alone or bring my dear hubby down with me. Keep writing I think it helps and we can help you thru what you are feeling when you write on here. i am here anytime you need to talk just reach out.