Day 23: January 1, 2018

I have been away from doing the norm and I can tell a big difference. I need to keep journaling everyday. I slipped up, three times. Gambled two days in a row and won $450, and then lost $250 on sportsbetting yesterday. In my head I was trying to tell myself that since I didn't lose, it technically doesn't count as a relapse, but all I can think about is gambling so it was absolutely a relapse. 

This relapse definately reminds me of how bad of a gambler I have become. In blackjack, I tried to stay disciplined, but once I started losing, I stacked my bets and luckily went on a streak both days. At one point, both days, I was almost to my last bet. Yesterday, with the sportsbetting I did a three team parlay. I would have wpn $685, but Seattle's kicker missed a FG by one foot and I lost. It brought back the highs and lows and with that brought the mood swings.

I have worked so much at my career and uber to get ahead this month, I can't believe I almost through it away with gambling again.. It seems like anytime I get $1,000 - $2,000 in my checking I start thinking I can gamble and go on a magic run, which NEVER happens!

Still going to be a long road, but for 2018, I have not gambled at all :D