day 2 on leg walking. pain, cramps sat oct 22,2011

well, this will be my first day of putting full weight on leg./ i am getting cramps allready. i should have known. i havnt walked on that leg for over 3 months. im still pretty freaked out by all this. thought id have partial weight , but full weight? am sitting on computer chair, not wheel chair. drank some tonic water for the quinine, but dont know if will work fo this kind of cramping. im going very slow. still very much using walker. my fear is hendering me. he said i cant hurt myself, but im still TERRIFIED afraid im going to fall or something. just so uneasy. i wish i could get some p.t. but no im poor and on medicaid. god forbid they make things right. took 2 ande a half pain pills, wasnt in that much pain, but you know. want to nip it in the bud b4 it does. saved one muscle relaxer, saving it, for what? xmas i guess. kinda afraid. i cant go home  3 flights of hard stairs. son of course is getting the chipmunk from his bad teeth AGAIN. he has at leaste 3 to 4 GIANT BILLS from going to er about  jaw and teeth. he realy needs a clinic. he is so stubborn. he is NEVER going to have credit. that is bad. dont even know if he      will be able to keep agoihng to colledge. that would be a shaim. we of course argued about it yesterday as ussuall. ok, cant talk about it any moore. im trying to be nhard on him sence i never tought him anything, or made him do anything for himself. i tuoght him but i allways caved in. allways. so now i have a 27 yr old lazy sickly grown man who is like a teenager. im going to loose my mind eventually. i just want my kids to be happy and healthy. ok, moore later. going to walk and get me something to drink. water, im surprised im not crawled into a bottle and never came out. wait its still early ha ha. ok, by for now.........