Dave's weird sense of humor - I don't always get it.
Dave has a weird sense of humor and I don't always get it. Last Thursday Dave told me that I did not wash the pots very well and after I left he had to redo them. This hurt my feelings a lot so I hybernated into the bedroom. I told Dave that I wanted to go home. Dave had a way of talking me down so I stayed and enjoyed the rest of the evening.
I am vulnverable so I am very sensitive and can get hurt quite easily. Had I thought about it, I would have realized this was absolute rubbish. I have been washing dished and pots since I was a child. It is not something that I cannot do. Dave was full of rubbish.
Yesterday being Sunday, I was washing the dishes in the kitchen. Dave must have thought that I could not hear him. Dave was telling Alla and Rob that he was just pulling my leg about the dishes. Dave said that I washed the dishes and pots better than he does. Is it a macho thing? Are we competing against one another? Dave wants to see how long he can milk this thing. I am wondering why. It is only hurting himself. I figure if someone is cooking a fine meal, the least I can do is wash the dishes/pots. Like I said, Dave has a weird sense of humor.
Today I have to go to the bank with the Letters of Administration to do the last of Smokey's estate which is the bank and the car (car loan thru the bank). Tomorrow I have to go to ICBC with the papers to get the car in my name so I can sell it. I am hoping that I can have the last of Smokey's estate settled before Christmas. It would be nice.
This is another way of saying good-bye to Smokey which is making me really quite vulnerable emotionally at the moment. I find I am more sensitive now. I can cry at anything slightly sentimental. At church yesterday, I was crying at two songs with a wee bit of an act about the birth of Christ.
I hope once the last of Smokey's estate is done the more inward healing for me. Dave has told me he loves me three times already but he doesn't want me to say it back to him. He knows I am still vulnerable about Smokey. I hope I get the inward healing to make me ready to say those words to Dave. Smokey was the love of my life and soul mate. Dave is a wonderful man who I want to keep in my life and in my heart. I want to be able to say "I Love You" to Dave and really mean it.
I am thinking that dating after nine months was too soon. My eyes might have been open to the opposite sex but the heart was not ready. I still miss my Smokey and cry every once in awhile about my loss. Dave is opening up my heart. He is what I need and want in my own life. I think his weird sense of humor is good for me. Dave tries to keep me unbalanced by cooking up different dishes or different ways of cooking older recipes. Dave enjoys introducing me to things that I have never exerienced before whether it is in food, drink or an activity. I think this is a very good thing for me. I think this is also good for Dave. It is now a challenge for Dave to come up with new or different ways to make some things. Last night Dave said he is running out of ideas.
I was worried with his 6'5" height and my own 5'2" height that slow dancing would be weird. Dave took me by my arms last night and slow danced with me. It is not weird at all. Actually, it was kind of nice and enjoyable. Even Dave enjoyed it.
Once Smokey's estate gets settled, the only major hurdle for me is a financial one. I need a job. I am now officially registerd with two personnel agencies: People Source & Hunt in Vancouver, BC Canada. I am still getting out 20 resumes per day = 100 per week = 400 per month. I am trying my best. I also am on Craigslist every day. My account is now $400 that is left from the life insurance for food. My month CPP Survivor's Pension just covers my monthly expenses not including food. I worry about my yearly expenses coming up in March Water & Sewer Taxes, July Property Tax & House Insurance. There is always something isn't there. If have to figure out what is going on with these things by the end of January. I hope I don't have to sell the apartment but necessity might force my hand in this. I have a few choices who I can live with if that happens to me. I don't want to have to sell especially in this bad ecoomic time.
These are all my troubles that I have to deal with and always on my mind. Spending time with Dave is a pleasurable thing for me and keeps my mind of my troubles. I have my faith in Jesus Christ and God The Father. Everyone on Daily Strength has been an absolute blessing to me and has helped me over the troubled waters of life. Thank you all so very much for being in my life from one greatful woman named Diane Baillie
I am vulnverable so I am very sensitive and can get hurt quite easily. Had I thought about it, I would have realized this was absolute rubbish. I have been washing dished and pots since I was a child. It is not something that I cannot do. Dave was full of rubbish.
Yesterday being Sunday, I was washing the dishes in the kitchen. Dave must have thought that I could not hear him. Dave was telling Alla and Rob that he was just pulling my leg about the dishes. Dave said that I washed the dishes and pots better than he does. Is it a macho thing? Are we competing against one another? Dave wants to see how long he can milk this thing. I am wondering why. It is only hurting himself. I figure if someone is cooking a fine meal, the least I can do is wash the dishes/pots. Like I said, Dave has a weird sense of humor.
Today I have to go to the bank with the Letters of Administration to do the last of Smokey's estate which is the bank and the car (car loan thru the bank). Tomorrow I have to go to ICBC with the papers to get the car in my name so I can sell it. I am hoping that I can have the last of Smokey's estate settled before Christmas. It would be nice.
This is another way of saying good-bye to Smokey which is making me really quite vulnerable emotionally at the moment. I find I am more sensitive now. I can cry at anything slightly sentimental. At church yesterday, I was crying at two songs with a wee bit of an act about the birth of Christ.
I hope once the last of Smokey's estate is done the more inward healing for me. Dave has told me he loves me three times already but he doesn't want me to say it back to him. He knows I am still vulnerable about Smokey. I hope I get the inward healing to make me ready to say those words to Dave. Smokey was the love of my life and soul mate. Dave is a wonderful man who I want to keep in my life and in my heart. I want to be able to say "I Love You" to Dave and really mean it.
I am thinking that dating after nine months was too soon. My eyes might have been open to the opposite sex but the heart was not ready. I still miss my Smokey and cry every once in awhile about my loss. Dave is opening up my heart. He is what I need and want in my own life. I think his weird sense of humor is good for me. Dave tries to keep me unbalanced by cooking up different dishes or different ways of cooking older recipes. Dave enjoys introducing me to things that I have never exerienced before whether it is in food, drink or an activity. I think this is a very good thing for me. I think this is also good for Dave. It is now a challenge for Dave to come up with new or different ways to make some things. Last night Dave said he is running out of ideas.
I was worried with his 6'5" height and my own 5'2" height that slow dancing would be weird. Dave took me by my arms last night and slow danced with me. It is not weird at all. Actually, it was kind of nice and enjoyable. Even Dave enjoyed it.
Once Smokey's estate gets settled, the only major hurdle for me is a financial one. I need a job. I am now officially registerd with two personnel agencies: People Source & Hunt in Vancouver, BC Canada. I am still getting out 20 resumes per day = 100 per week = 400 per month. I am trying my best. I also am on Craigslist every day. My account is now $400 that is left from the life insurance for food. My month CPP Survivor's Pension just covers my monthly expenses not including food. I worry about my yearly expenses coming up in March Water & Sewer Taxes, July Property Tax & House Insurance. There is always something isn't there. If have to figure out what is going on with these things by the end of January. I hope I don't have to sell the apartment but necessity might force my hand in this. I have a few choices who I can live with if that happens to me. I don't want to have to sell especially in this bad ecoomic time.
These are all my troubles that I have to deal with and always on my mind. Spending time with Dave is a pleasurable thing for me and keeps my mind of my troubles. I have my faith in Jesus Christ and God The Father. Everyone on Daily Strength has been an absolute blessing to me and has helped me over the troubled waters of life. Thank you all so very much for being in my life from one greatful woman named Diane Baillie
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