Dave is into sports (not me) & I still miss my Smokey.
Dave is into sports and not me. He loves to watch football, hockey and baseball. I am not into sports at all. Last night Dave, Rob and Alla were watching the hockey game. I was bored out of my skull. I am not sure what to make of it or do about it. Dave has a 2nd TV in the bedroom. I was thinking while they are watching their sports, I could watch the TV in the bedroom. For some reason, Dave likes to pick me up after his work, bring me to his place, cook dinner, watch TV and go to bed together. It's not a bad routine except for the fact that Dave loves his sports. I never have ever been with a man in my life who loves sports. This is all new to me. Since this is unchartered territory for me, I would like to know what you make of it or what I should do about it. It is not a reason to break up with the man. Every other way, we are good together and I could not ask for a better man to come into my life after Smokey died. On the other hand, it is going to be coming up to the one year mark since Smokey died and I could be a tad more sensitive or emotional at this point in my life. I miss Smokey so much. He was the love of my life and my soul mate. I could not have asked for a better partner. I could tell by just the look in his eyes his love and vice-versa. Dave is a good man and I don't want to hurt him. When I get like this, I tend to pull away and withdraw, which is not good. I could see spending the rest of my life with Dave if all goes well. There are so many variables that can hurt any relationship. With dealing with the one year anniversary of Smokey's death, I am in a vulnerable state at the moment. I didn't think I would ever live this long after Smokey died. Every good man has his flaws. I used to call him my grumpy old man and Smokey would agree with me. Smokey knew his own flaws and would ask for my forgiveness once a year. It takes an intelligent and caring man to do this. I bring all this up because I could not sleep very well last night. It is because I am almost entering menopause, one year anniversary of Smokey's death, no job prospects yet and Dave's sports that play into this factor. I am totally stressed out. Not only that but on Oct. 22 I have a lunch date with my two friends. On Oct. 23, I have one jewelery party and a $15.00 concert to go to. Monies extremely tight with me so what am I doing? Am I crazy or what? These are all stresses for me and play into the factor of my emotions and why I could not sleep well last night. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy and why do I want to be here on this planet called earth any more?
These are my thoughts and feelings from Diane Baillie
These are my thoughts and feelings from Diane Baillie
Replies
Diane,..I feel so sad when I read your journals and I can hear the dread and confussion in it. As far as Dave being a sports fan..I guess you either have to join in and learn a little about it or outright tell him it bores you. I was with one man in my life between my first husband and Buddy and I changed for him..became what he wanted me to be and I was very unhappy...so I promised myself I would never do that again. It the sports things is the only problem you can see between you and Dave then I would sit him down and talk about it. I remember when Buddy and first started dating and he was a huge sports fan...I dragged him off to a Shaker Village when it was March Maddness (basketball) and he missed a big game. He never told me till later and we would laugh about it. But in any relationship I think it\'s all about compomise...give a little, take a little...you need to be here on this planet Earth...there is a reason for all of us to be here ...things will get better I promise...hugs Ellen
I agree that his being into sports is not a reason to break up with him (unless he neglects you when he has other opportunities as well). Not so highly unusual in a man. Can\'t you sit beside him and knit or read and/or try to learn enough about the sport to know what\'s going on? You might find that you really get into them, too!
Good time to work on your typing speed or anything else needed for a job application. Visit with your daughter and grandson? Who does the dishes and cleans up after he cooks? Better to be there than in a bar spending $ right? Please...just take it easy, we are told no big/major decisions in the first year. Hugs, Wendy
Hi Diane, ~E~ here...I agree that if the sports thing is the only issue between you & Dave, then it\'s something you\'ll just have to work out with him. I am inclined to think that the other factors you mentioned are really the underlying cause(s) of you \"mood\". My Snake was not a huge professional sports fan, but he did enjoy watching from time to time...I care nothing for watching sports on TV unless it\'s NASCAR or figure-skating...but I would use the time to read, or work on a craft project...like you said, watch something else on another TV. I do think it\'s something you should talk with Dave about, chances he doesn\'t realize that you are \"bored out of your skull\" by sports...sometimes during the games that my hubby would watch, we\'d snuggle together on the sofa...he would watch the game and I would just snuggle against him and catnap...just being next to him was nice, and as long as I didn\'t try to engage him in conversation, he was quite content...but since my hubby was a die-hard sports fan...I could usually \"distract\" him before the game was over...lol...
There is a funny side to my story...My hubby was an avid High School Football fan...he listened to the game EVERY Friday night on the radio...I\'d read or craft or play on the pc...NOW, I find myself listening to the game every Friday night...and I don\'t even like football or know a blasted thing about it!!!! LOL my BFF and my \"daughters\" call me a \"dork\"...but I guess it just \"grew\" on me. LOL... I hope you will be able to work through all this...and you are in my prayers, as always... I\'m sending BIG HUGS to you today...hang in there, hon... ~E~