Daughter's Dilema

As many of you know, our daughter is being married this August.
She is really struggling as she is the last to carry her Dad's name
and she is not sure she wants to take her fiance's name. I think
she feels it would be a tribute to her Beloved Dad to keep our last
name. Of course I have the same last name, but not the same.
She may use both names with a hyphen. PLUS she is a high school
teacher and she is known by her birth name, BUT should they have
children, what name would they take..............suggestions please
this is really tearing her up.
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Many new moms give their children their maiden name as their middle name and the father\'s name as their last name.
So.
Sue Smith marries Bob Jones. They have a child named Sam
Sam Smith Jones.

My children have maiden names (family) names as their middle names. this is a very old tradition in the south. Some people even give the family name as the First Name.
Sue Bentley marries Bob Jones. They have a child:
Bentley Jones.
Your daughter also needs to talk to her fiance about how HE feels about all this. I was proud to take my husband\'s name and he was honored that I took it.

Linda
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat

Cliff and I hyphenated our names together to honor both of our fathers. My sons have the hyphenated name. In the old days, in the USA, this was not common (we married in 1979), but it is more common now. The kids can always decide to use one name or the other when they are of age. Most women make their maiden name their middle name, so she has the option of doing that and just using her full name with no hyphens as her official name - i.e., Name Dad\'sName FiancesName (dropping her original middle name).

When I married again recently, I had a similar dilemma. My-and-Cliff\'s hyphenated name became my middle name, abbreviated as two initials. So my name now contains the names of my father, Cliff, and Mark - all 3 of my heroes.

I hope this helps. Love and Hugs, Martha
Patswife
Patswife

I suggested they use WILSON as a middle name for a potential child, but she is so unsure. Chris would like her to take his name, PHILLIPS. Thanks for your input. Hugs, Wendy
wendywillow
wendywillow

Here in Quebec, Canada, the maiden name is the legal one. I am known socially as Mrs. Nelligan, but legally as Mrs. Charbonneau. I hate that the Quebec government tells us what name we can use!!

My son has 5 children. They all have her maiden name because they are not legally married.

It\'s a tough decision. Hyphenated names become complicated once children arrive and grow up to marry others with hypenated names then you end up with 4 last names! Crazy!

I hope they will come to an agreement. If your daughter decides to take her husbands name, her maiden name does not change. It never will, so she is not dishonouring her Dad at all.
Hugs, keep us posted.
Patswife
Patswife

Yes, she is so sensitive. We are in BC. My Dad who will be 96 will walk her to her fiance at the Rose Garden at UBC. Thanks and Hugs, Wendy
deleted_user
deleted_user

My daughter kept her maiden name when she married. She is well know in the industry in which she works.The two daughters carry their dad\'s last name. So far it has not created a problem.
DianeMTB
DianeMTB

This is not a dilema that I am familiar with but ultimately your daughter and fiance have to decide what is right for them. There should not be any guilt involved at all. My daughter Lisa Baillie and Grant Gormley had a child together named Tyson Phillip Gormley. It is the couples choice. They plan to marry down the road. All the best from Diane B.