dating bullshit

I'm not feeling to good about myself right now. I'm finding myself in a familiar spot. I was talking to this dude who seemed pretty cool- like a possible match. He seems to be into me- calling me beautiful and what not. Telling me I'm what he's looking for in a woman. But he doesn't seem to want to know much about me. The only questions he asked about me were ones that pertained to him- and ones about sex of course. I asked him some questions which he answered. I commented on his answer- like one does when they are in a conversation- but he never said "what about u?" I would offer information about myself and he wouldn't even make a comment about it- like he wasn't really interested in hearing what I had to say. And a couple nights ago- the first night we spoke- he seemed to show interest in what I was saying. Then he said he wanted to meet. I said when and where- he said now. It was 12:15AM. I know a fucking booty call when I hear one. Mind u last night came and went and he hasn't mentioned one thing about meeting me. Guess he's not looking to hang out in the daytime. But at 12:15 he'll want to hang out. That hurts me. Why? I'm not really into this guy. The 12:15 thing was a huge red flag. Then we have already spoken a lot about sex and its way too soon for that. Unless you're just looking to get laid. He seems like a pompous ass- talking about how inept all the chicks he's been with have been. But never once did he admit any fault or take blame. He's just not for me. And I didn't lose anything- we just im'd for a couple of days. He asked to see pics of me- I told him no. Mind u- he's already seen a pic of me. So he knows what I look like. I know what he wanted- he wanted to text me a picture of his junk. That's where it was going to go.

So why do I feel so bad? We were on aim today and he didn't ask me how I felt this morning- I was sick yesterday. I noticed his responses were taking 20 min- so I asked him what he was doing and he said he was in and out doing diferent things. So he had no plans of actually having a thorough conversation with me- he just wanted me to stay online just in case he wanted to talk. That's what hurts. When I typed that my eyes welled up. Its like my dad- super inconsiderate and self absorbed and looks at it like its all good. I'm reliving my childhood. My instinct was to ask him out. I want to go get lunch. It would be cool if I could sit down w someone and eat. But I didn't. I know where that goes. John used to do the same shit- not pay attention to what I said. Just assumed that I would want him. Didn't feel like he had to make much effort. And that broke me. Bc that was my dad. Just looks at it like he never had to apologize for any of the fucked up shit he did and said when I was growing up. He never had to earn my trust. He just looked at it like I owed it to him. That always hurt me a lot. He says he loves me. But I don't feel it. Bc how can u love someone and not care about their feelings. Its fake love. Its not real. And that's why I'm upset. When I meet men and they take me back there- it makes me relive my childhood. That's not something I want to do. I don't feel bad anymore :). I really hope he doesn't get in contact with me but something tells me I'm not that lucky. To be continued...