Damn bad day

Everything seemed to go wrong today. 

Nightmares, oversleeping, overworking, extreme creative anxiety, general anxiety, lack of motivation for kickboxing, then getting shouted at on the way back. For being scared of my dad. 

You don't get a thick skin without getting hurt. So I won't numb myself, but grow a thick skin, and brush it off. They'll try to use me as a punching bag, just like I did in class today. Punching bags are made to not break. Punching bags are made to take every hit. 

They will, of course, assume I'm spiting them by leaving the blast site. I just want to get away from the radiation. 

The kickboxing instructor told me I did great. She's the only one I believe. It's almost like she's my only supporter, and I don't even know her... 

I've not been eating much lately. There's just not much to eat at home, all we've had is eggs and naan. I've made sure to eat at regular intervals, since I don't think I have much of an appetite as before. 

There's hope out there, somewhere, even if "close" is the closest star.