cycles
when I start to think of taking care of myself
i think in terms "I want to be free" - and then
that bold pony bucking self comes and I know I have to reign it in
because I live in certain circumstances here at the board and care
and that reality is depressing and demotivating - I think I still need to push
forward even though I feel sad and not so satisfied by the moment
and the initial motivation. Human hierarchies, strengths and weakness,
being self responsible -I guess smart- it's all a mixed bag. Some people can rise above
their relationships and exploit their circumstance and succeed at their goals.
They might even have deficits that they can provide for - and work against
- so that their strengths take the center stage - and lead the way.
Ah well maybe I will do that today - some how make a plan instead of just sitting
back and sublimating on TV that I don't really want to watch :)
Replies
I know this is a weird and negative journal...but i feel so grateful for my life.. I am trying to make sense of it - and find a way that I can achieve the most I can achieve in life.. I kind of get stuck between my shoulders. I am either unbridled and wild or so cautious that I have a hard time letting go. Life is an interesting and challenging journey. That the journey is to be appreciated and not necessarily the destination makes sense. Right now perhaps it's time to let go and let God.. I have no words right now.