cursed

so the death trap of a van that HE is letting me use broke down tonight. I was stuck on the road after collecting some of my things from the apartment WE used to share. I have a truck, but it won't pass inspection because it needs a lot of work. so WE (more like I) spent a few hundred and put a transmission in HIS van...wait, lets get this straight. So, we asked his mom to borrow us 200 dollars to fix the van- he ended up spending it on a booze binge. so then I got my mom to let us borrow 200 dollars. HE had a toothache, and it ended up going there. so, finally, I get my taxes back, and we spend it on HIS death trap of a van. Let me describe it. Broken windshield, pitman arm is bad so the steerings all sloppy, the heater core is bad, so instead of blowing hot of cold air, it blows out toxic smoke that burns my nose and throat, and fogs up the windows.  You can roll down the windows all you want baby, but the windshield will still fog up. And to top it all off.....tada! the damn thing won't go in reverse, and now, it won't GO at all...YAY! happy times!! HE said "I won't be at the apartment, so you can come get Daisy" (she's our dog, practically our child together)(and I know he's going to fight me for her, but guess what sweetie pie???I bought her, and she's licensed under my name) So I went to get her, and my clothes because I left in such a rush under the cops last night that I left some important work clothes. HE said HE was going to HIS moms, but I don't believe him. He's probably out with HER right now. Fucking loser. He wouldn't answer my calls, I left messages telling him about his ridiculous death trap, but I think he honestly doesn't care.  I dont' know. I feel so pathetic and cursed. And he's out having fun. jerk. I just wish he could realize what he did to me, to us. I know we would have been amazing, just given a little time, but he's an impatient bastard. A shallow bastard. I really hope that he doesn't give up on all the things we got through together. I helped him go to and graduate his drug rehab classes, and he's almost off probation. I really would hate to see him go to jail or prison.
that's all for now