Currently

I am unsure of what to do. I never thought a single person would have such an effect on my life. Well since October I have just hated my life. So I went to go find myself a little bit only to realize I can't get away, no matter how hard I try something keeps holding me back almost like my mind wants me to stay depressed and to never get better. I am ashamed of myself, and I don't want to be near people. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but there is nothing I can do. Even when I sleep I get haunted at night. In the day time I can't seem to let anything else cross my mind. I know it's unhealthy to think and feel that way, but I've tired moving on, I've tried telling myself she fucked me over, and that her family will never like me so we have nothing, yet I can't get over how pathetic I feel. All my friends try to tell me "Just let it go bro" but believe me I'm trying to. I never had this kind of problem in my life, and this is my first time dealing with this kind of fight, and it's every night every day, and even when I am alone her image is still in my mind. Even when I am with somebody else all I think about is her & when I am all alone that's all I seem to do. I guess I just miss all the times we spent together knowing we just might make it. Only to realize that she never cared, I wasted my time and my life on someone who was just using me to get recognized a little better. Sold me out and sent me down the river with nothing but my memories... Now I am doing something I am not even happy with just to try to take my mind of something I don't even want anymore. & all this time I am wasting is just a game for fools, but I guess in reality that's what I am a damn fool...