Cult Issues again
Geo has my moods down like clockwork. He knows when I'm going to be hypomanic, depressed, moody, isolating.. you name it. Right now I'm in "Cult time". For some reason, in the summer I feel more like going back to the cult I was in (International Church of Christ) and the brainwashing comes back. For the past 8 years or so I haven't gone back in the summer, but before that I would go back and start trying to be a part of them again. They throw me out because Geo and I are not officially married (long story) and we live together. Or before they threw me out because I was dating a girl. It didn't matter for a long time how many times they tried to get me to leave, I would go back and back. For the past week or so I've been having nightmares about the cult (the girls making fun of me, stealing my stuff, and embarrassing me, then a couple nights later a nightmare that I went back to them) and then last night I had a dream that a guy who I was in love with in the cult came to me and wanted me to come back to him. At least for now I know to stay away, but it's going to be hard when Geo goes to Oregon and I'm going to be alone. I can stay away, though... My love for Geo will get me through.
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I honestly don't know very much about cults, so all that I can do is offer my hugs and best wishes. I know that you're a very strong lady, and the fact that you're aware of and concerned about these thoughts tells me that you're going to make it through just fine. Remember that all of us are here for you while Geo is away. Hugs!
you have done such a great job of first getting out, and staying out. i can understand the draw to go back, one thinks of only the positive things esp. when alone. however i believe you are strong and can get through this with geo gone, you want to be with him, you love him and going back you will lose him. i have so much faith in you and your strength. hugss