cuaresma
methinks hearing the word, "cuaresma" triggered another of the linguistic weirds i have been experiencing since? ? ? since i mastered my first human language through preadolescent speech? for sure since i attempted to master my second human language --german-- in the early to mid 70's. when our farm assistant used the word while asking me to explain "easter." i was well versed in this particular disparity from participating in "cuaresma" in ecuador. gringos aren't allowed to speak spanish in the u.s., so i had not used the word since i left ecuador in 2008. gringo catholics celebrate "lent" and are not welcome to speak of "cuaresma."
flashbacks to my political traumas in spanish speaking countries/immigrant camps are fissuring like a congressional debates in my head. even translating them is a challenge. here, attempts to translate are typically met with variants on the theme, "los gringos no se puedan hablar."
me duele la cabeza. . .
can i maintain my covidic isolation on all that ruckus? international labor day approaches. . . the repurcussions of the hispanic demonstration which rocked post katrina new orleans (2006) is especially noisy today. no tengo palabras. . .
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i still frequently feel the call to return to my volunteer works inside the immigrant communities of the u.s., perhaps ever more so for the crisis generated by the flood of immigrants produced by biden's immigration reform proposal which included amnesty for illegal immigrants. it is important in my mind that hispanics arenae the only immigrants in the u.s. i've given up on trying to explain that in spanish, but ? ? ? en **mi** pais hay mas que dos idiomas. i am frequently shaken to the core by hispanic treatment of asians, africans, etc., etc. their brutality is such that i feel forced to choose between serving hispanic immigrants and non-hispanic immigrants. even in ecuador, i never once witnessed an ecuadoran sitting with an asian.
as the linguistic snot knot between spanish and english continues evolving to its next phases, i find myself wondering if the call to return to work inside immigrant communities should be of the other countries of the world. latin america and the u.s. are only 34 of the world's 195 countries. en **mi** pais, tenemos todos. viva la diversidad.
methinks "en mi pais" has become a trigger phrase for me, most directly linked to the gangsters who have a vested interest in enforcing the hispanic tradition of "los gringos no se pueden." i don't care to do the research, but i am fairly certain that all 33 of the latin american countries have their share of revolutionaries and criminals with armories in the trunks of their cars. these folks, of both genders, have a history of genocidal dislike for missionaries, whatever their home countries. todos son gringos.
homesickness is a natural part of immigration, however horrific the circumstances that forced the immigrant from their homelands. when working with heavily traumatized refugees, letting them ramble freely about their home countries can help bring a trauma victim back to the here and now. it is part of the healing process.
i, strictly personal have no trauma attached to the phrase, "in my country." it often gets tedious, but tedium isnae trauma. "en mi pais" is directly related to personal trauma inflicted by armed and confused teenaged gangsters, adult revolutionaries and organized criminals. not all of them had spanish or even u.s. barrio accents.
processing. . . sorting. . .
fa is still trying to educate me on cuaresma en mi pais. i keep insisting that this is not a hispanic tradition. it is a catholic practiced similar wise throughout the world. i learned about it in RCIA as an adult. fa is a cradle catholic who never learned much about the religion that was chosen for her before she was born. su pais is a catholic country with no separation of church and state, as are the other latin american countries i have visited. i was pretty blown away by the diffs between the u.s. catholic communities and the latin american catholics. u.s. catholics are united by intense discrimination. it has been a while since i have heard of catholic churches being burned, but you still don't have to look far to find arsons itching for an excuse to do so. my RCIA studies were laced with the humility of persecution. the latin american catholics walked with the arrogance of majority domination. what's to study? it's law. comply or die. i'm sure i'm not translating correctly, butttttttttaaaaaaa. . . los gringos no se pueden. . . ni los catolicos. . . peace of christ, no paz de cristo.
i ran into another set of language changing bigots at the elementary school today. these three ladies were standing in the hallway, conversing spanish. i needed to give one of them a message. since spanish was being spoken, i delivered the message in spanish. she immediately changed the language to her heavily accented english. los gringos no se pueden. me english better than you spanish.
i've been dual language psychopating ever since. mostly in spanish in yet another round of why i ever let this gruesome idioma into my head. why was i stupid enough to do that. the often spoken rule has been in place since long before i was born in 1954. i know wrong-color people aren't allowed to speak spanish. why did i challenge the status quo? they are still teaching that lesson in elementary school. get 'em young and train 'em right.
and the beat goes on, on, on, on, on. .
and the beat goes on. . .
drums keep pounding rhythms in my brain. . .
la da da de da. . .
la de dadi die. . .
and the beat goes on.
i am on the verge of declaring chickens to be a taboo topic between fa and i. <<en mi pais>> is the sum total of her chicken experience. she is a city girl who has only kept chickens in her freezer and has never had reason to learn any of the inside details/vocabulary of chicken keeping. i am still more hobbyist than industrialist. it doesn't take long to confuse me in english. in spanish, i am fa's equal. sharing a chicken dinner is the closest i've come to discussing the art and science of poultry in spanish. it doesn't feel productive to be taking my first lessons from a square one beginner. you will always be my linguistic superior in spanish, fa. in chickenese, we both have allot of learning to do. how do they say that en su pais? i bet they say ^it^ differently on the other half of your island.
but declaring chickens a taboo topic doesn't feel right, especially here, 2 weeks before a scheduled road trip. she will be watching and caring for the 3 flocks while i am on the road. i believe her interest in chickens is sincere, but i get a bit muddy on whether her interest is in learning or being the farm expert. i've been exploring that piece of the snot knot under, "copy convos." methinks that 20 minute expertise is the same in both languages. 20 minute expert word sets are far more consistent than the words and mysteries attached to hens brooding a clutch.