Crying

I cant see my friends because they either have school work or are out in service. My infection isnt getting any better. My irritation is getting out of hand. I cant stand this blah mood anymore. Im so tired i cant think straight. I wish i was driving myself around. Im feeling suicidal and extremely depressed. Im trying to keep from crying because i dont want my parents to see me like that. I painted and it helped for only a little bit. Now i want to cut deep, really deep, even if it means getting stitches, i dont really care atm.