Crying
I'm really losing it tonight. I found out my ex was still sleeping with his mistress even after she supposedly dumped him. They had a hotel room, which makes me that much more jealous. We haven't had a romantic hotel room situation sans children for more than 5 years. We got married a few years ago and didn't have any sort of honeymoon at all. I was pregnant w our second child and we went bowling with his buddy that's a notorious cheater (he knocked up his mistress). I caught a bad respiratory virus all of the sudden, have an exam in the morning that I haven't studied for, and wasted my whole night text-arguing with him. Now he threatens to not watch the children tomorrow morning when I have to leave at 7:15 am, and asserts, again, he wants to reconcile and that he's forgiven me for equally bad behavior (negotiable). What sucks is this feels like week one all over again. I feel kicked in the gut and unhinged. He would text that I was a pathetic fat bitch, then how much he really loves me. He's ultimatum-ing me and saying if I don't agree to have a talk "tonight" that he absolutely won't show tomorrow. My nursing clinicals has a policy of one absence can equal dismissal - so it's important to not only have someone in place for my children, but also to not wreck my head with worry over it when I should be focused on my test. I've had all A's and A-'s so far and would hate to blow it because I'm suddenly back in the vortex of divorce drama. Side note: a really slow, beautiful rendition of Ray Charles singing "Georgia" is on the radio. Oddly all night has been blues about break ups and pain and it was like I was hearing the film soundtrack to my life as it unfolded, though I'm not quite that cool to have a real blues soundtrack... probably more 80's pop I'm guessing.
Replies
I am so sorry.
I don\'t know if you want him back or not but if you don\'t... you need to block him from texting you. Do you have a home phone? If so, only allow him to call you on there.
It sounds like he\'s lost his mind. He needs some time to get it together. As for your kids... are you sure they wouldn\'t be ok on their own? (I don\'t know how old they are.) Can they go to school super early? Maybe there\'s a neighbor that can step in for you at the last minute?
If you really need him to step in for the kids (and what as asshole for threatening not to) maybe lie that you have diarrhea and it\'s a bad night to talk, I dunno. What a freaking ass. Do you think he would really leave the kids hanging like that?
And I definitely understand the jealousy of the hotel room situation. I always found hotels to be special, there was just something about them that I loved. Now he\'s ruined that for me, I have to wonder how many people in there are cheating at that moment, have cheated in the bed I\'m in. Plus, that bitch got to go to the hotel, have sex with him, sleep in a comfy king sized bed, and then the next night the sheets would be clean and the bed made by housekeeping and she didn\'t have to do shit! All she had to do was show up. I\'m still furious that I have to be the one to change the sheets, wash them, put the bed together for my shitty, uncomfortable, super squeaky twin bed and he just gets to come lay in it and put stains on it. I NEVER got to get it on in a king sized bed with him, let alone spend 2+ weeks in a hotel with him like she did. Sorry, I\'m venting in your comments. Anyways, I hope things get better and you do well on your test!
I am so sorry to hear how much he is hurting you. Men can be such dicks. And I know it hurts that he does things with her that he didn\'t do with you. It hurts just as bad when it is something he did do with you and you thought that thing was special, and now it isn\'t anymore. It\'s really a no win situation that they put us in. Cheaters are very cruel and selfish. Please try to remember how wonderful you are and they even on his best day, he does not deserve even one minute of your time. I know this is easier said than done but you have to try. How proud you must be for what you are accomplishing in your career! You are being a very positive role model for your children. He sure isn\'t. Please don\'t feel unworthy cause of your weight, that is so irrelevant to who you are as a person. I don\'t know if you and he will resolve your issues, but you need to focus on you. If you are meant to get back together, you making yourself stronger isn\'t going to stop that. In fact, if you do, wouldn\'t you rather be stronger? Let us know how your test goes. Hugs to you.
I got a B. Considering I didn\'t do the 200 pages of reading (some), and I studied for maybe an hour, that\'s respectable. I\'m sure I\'ll likely get an A/ A- for the class despite this B. Being sick and coughing didn\'t help my situation either, plus I got my monthly, so I really felt steam rolled. The was zero energy reserve in me.