Crossroads

I had an "upheaval of a morning" but felt the warm embrace and conviviality of being in this monastic community.

I was feeling some how at odds with it all today. I know I have to be self responsible and I am looking forward as well to my telemedicine meeting with my therapist later today. In the vacuum and sense of deprivation from relief before that time, I thought to contact my father. I refrained though. I thought about my conclusion to have a significant other and my status as a viable adult. I decided to come here and confide in this journal to you guys

and keep on "my path" rather than become dependent as well as impose on my Dad who has enough on his plate already. It's important to communicate and so we'll meet and discuss when I get home but for now

i need to cope while here and maybe consider how some day, one day, I will be here full time and will need to evaluate if this community is right for me. In any community I would manifest relationships. Just for now I have the need for a meeting 

with my doctor.