Creepy Sister...
I have one sister who lives real close to me. She's never moved out of the house she was raised in, even after my parents were deceased, never married, never lived with anyone. She's younger than me and looks like she's 20 years older. Too skinny, nerdy, wears the same style clothes and never changes. and she doesn't interact with anyone other than me and my other sisters. The biggest loner I've ever seen, even though there's people in her life. Never Ever EVER shows any emotion, never laughs, cries, and does not allow arguments or anyone else showing emotions. I always felt I had to tip-toe around her. I DO feel sorry for her, she's got a terribly lonely life; she works at the same job for over 30 years and has no work friends or no personal friends. I don't know what goes on at her job. At home alone, she watches TV constantly.
I had my first argument with her in many, many years because I knew how she was so I avoided arguments. Well now she has changed---now she's spiteful, is dong things on purpose to me. I never knew she was spiteful before, this is a new thing, but it is creeping me out because I don't know what she is going to do next. Even though I live right near her, and she wants to do something with me this weekend, I'm keeping very little contact with her.
I asked my good friend in South Carolina about this, because she has 3 sisters also. I asked her if they get along and have arguments. She said, "sure we do, but we get over it because we're a loving family". Boy did that hit me--hit me very, very hard. I can honestly say we are NOT a loving family. It's depressing me so very much. I hate to give up on my sister, but I feel I have to move on to get away from her. I had to vent, I am very upset. Thanks for reading.
Replies
I think you have to see your sister in a way as 2 relationships. One in which she is your sister...so you accept her as she is. Quirks and all. You can feel sorry for her, but you have to respect her choices to live and be the way she is.
Now the other way you are seeing her is as a "friend." Because she is relying on you for socializing. We have a whole different set of expectations for our friendships. We went to be around people who are uplifting us, banter back and forth, have things in common with. We want our friends to have similar lifestyles and energy levels as us.
I have a sister. We see each other during family holidays and when we visit. We do not socialize with each other outside of that. We have different personalities and friendship needs. There is no resentment there whatsoever.
So if you can see these both sides...you may realize you have empathy for her as a sister, but you just don't like to hang out with her as friends. You don't necessarily need to drop her like a hot potato...but maybe just reserve your hang out time to family functions and such.
Sending you light and love!
From your description ... I think there is something clinically wrong. Yes, she has every right to be what she wants to be and do what she wants to do, but she is certainly not within a range of normal personality development .... from what you have said.
Regardless, .. I would advise keeping your distance ... from ANY 'spiteful' person.
Be careful Maria, Have someone else with you if you decide to meet up. Hugs! Brooke
Just keep your guard up around her but don't give up on her, she is your sister and you do usually enjoy spending time with her, myabe something is going on that she can't or won't talk about, just be careful....hugs