Creating a world to support you
This morning I've been really adrift
and i didn't know which direction to look.
I can't rely on my brother and sisters. It's not fair. We all have to survive. So I just thought about it and decided to build the life around me that I want. Like a series of art works, a collection or a world.
It's giving me hope.
I can't wait to get home to Blue!!
Replies
when I was a child I used to lose myself in creating little worlds out of moss rocks and cardboard.
I would write stories too and draw and paint as well. If I had some free time I would say -'let's make something!'
I was reminded of this today when I wrote this initial journal. I suppose it may feel to us like we have
to justify what we do in life as we are adults..but each of us has to create the world we live in, so to speak.
We build relationships and a style of living - things we do in life - kind of like a 'world of our own' - it may seem obvious - but the
complication of this idea is that we have to come into contact with others and they are creating
their own worlds too...so there is like the spanning of two worlds for you to do....(this is what I was thinking
about as I worked.) A therapist once said to me "Mark, you need a whole world" - and what I am
seeing now is that people do this...one world is not better than the other - but one is ours to hold fast to,
to appreciate and have the space in our hearts to love others' as well... I feel equipped to deal with my day.
I may feel a low grade anxiety, constantly, that tires me out - but in realizing I have the drive and ability to
seek my own life in the company of others' creating theirs - it helps me get along with my day and ditch
the super tiring anxiety... The anxiety has kept me sitting in place so to speak because I am too tired to
move forward on anything bigger than what's in front of me. That's gone now.
you are on a roll, grasshopper. i am loving the image of life as a series of artworks. it is especially nummy accentuated by the image of those moss rocks and cardboard. i love dioramas.
in my own mental health management, i have grown convinced that the continual low-grade anxiety doesn't wear me out as much as fighting the feeling. with radical acceptance, that continual anxiety buzz is merely irritating and doesn't have the power to wear me out. i rank the irritation with living near a freeway. when i don't fight or curse it, i can sometimes even forget it is there. it's just life.
Thanks Arfie. Good to hear from you. I can’t wait to go back to the monastery in March. I’m having a sh$tty day. But accepting it. Just lying low after running errands after work. Peace.