Crazy Morning... :(

To say this morning was a " crazy morning ", would be putting it very mildly. From the moment I woke up things quickly went from bad to worse. My first fatal mistake was asking my bf to answer to the door to M.O.W. for me, since I was no where close to being able to get up from my recliner chair yet - especially not after a night of hardly sleeping much at all, in it. I didn't think I was asking him to do too much, but apparently I was very wrong. A little later during his raging fit he snapped at me that I shouldn't have asked him to answer the door, since he was wanting to get a shower. He claimed he had told me that, but I told him that I honestly didn't remember him saying anything about it. If he did say anything then he said it very quickly, and as a very low pitched mumble while growling from rage at me. 

All of that was bad enough... but then things started to turn very ugly fast as his rage starting building as the moments passed. Instead of going straight to the bathroom to get his shower, after answering the door for me, he started playing one of his video games instead. While he was playing his video game I tried to do the " nice thing ", and I tip-toed around trying to be as quiet as possible while I was taking my morning prescriptions. But while I did that, he growled at me... telling me to stop trying to be extra quiet, and go ahead and finish what I was doing. Who does this ? Why get angry at someone that's trying to be extra considerate towards you ? 

It would have been bad enough if his anger had simmered down, and stopped at that point, but it didn't. Instead he continued to get more and more enraged at he was playing his video game, and ended up shutting his game down by throwing several things around the living room - and unplugging the tv, dvd player, and game console. Of course he made sure to throw the tv remote where there was no chance of me recovering it. 

Even as I was sitting in my recliner chair... not saying a word to him.... not at all.. he started re-organizing things on a small bookcase here in the living room - ( one that has a lot of my mail, and important paperwork, etc.. on it ), while he growled about how I'm such a terrible " pack rat " ! ). Did he bother asking if I minded him moving my things around ? Oh hell no ! Who does this ? Why does it bother him so much where I put my mail that I keep ? So what if I have a few pieces of mail that I'm saving ? It's not as if it's boxes of mail, or stacks that are piled up on the floor, because it's not ! Plus it would be simple consideration for him to ask me where I wanted him to put that mail, and other assorted paperwork. But that's too much to ask of him, I suppose. 

If I ever dared to go over to " his table ", and start re-organizing his things, then he would quickly become very enraged ! Let's just say, well beyond enraged ! 

All of this... at this point is simply unbearable, and I'm sitting in my recliner chair crying. I barely manage to stop crying only because I don't want him to get even angrier at me for crying. I was thankful when he left to go for a walk to the library. I needed some time to myself to let my heart calm down, and stop thumping a mile a minute in my chest ! During his raging fit I felt like my heart was going to explode, and burst out of my chest ! I'm almost positive that the stress from this must have re-activated my AFIB ! It had to have. One of the key causes of AFIB is stress ! 

He's been gone for awhile now.... I would have thought he would have been back by now, but I'm not going to worry about it. Why should I since this time is at least giving me a chance to calm down, and breathe normally once again.