crazed....

I am horrible at writing in this journal (not to mention every other one I try to write).  But I am in a complete bizarre mood at the moment.  I am so very happy that I have found my fiancée, Stephanie.  She has turned my world around and set me towards a great path of a happy relationship with her and God.  Lately my depression and PTSD have really gotten to me and made me feel very down.  She has been there to help lift me up these past few weeks and I cannot thank her enough.  Our wedding is on September 20th of this year, and I cannot wait.  I am still trying to get my company rolling, but I think that God has sort of 'blocked' me for awhile.  I know he has his plan for us all, and this whole situation regarding my company has been very humbling for me.  Of course, I do not say that he is blocking me in a bad way.  I know if I started this company when I said it was time, I would not have achieved much, and probably fell flat on my face.  I have so much already accomplished, and am now just looking for avenues of approach with financing.  This life has been a very tough one this far, and I look forward to more.  I have learned a lot over the past few years, and am very glad to know that there is someone on this planet who loves me for me, and will not accept anything less than that.  Please pray with me and for me on my company, and my upcoming marriage.  I only want to be the husband that she wants and needs.  I try my best to make her happy, and I know she is.